Join Me in Snarkville

..yes, only because I love each and everyone of you SO much that I’m dealing with the world’s SLOWEST internet connection. For future reference, if on a cruise ship — do NOT pay by the minute for your connection — there is no such thing as a fat pipe — and this is slower than most dial-up I know. However, because this is a special cruise it is FREE. FREE. FREE. So, I’m posting.

First, my review of the ship thus far — LORD, it is HUGE. I had to change shoes because I think I wore the first pair out. Yes, there is a ton to do on board this ship. Hopefully, the issues I’ve found are more due to the beginning of the season and NOT a universal problem with ships this big or RCCL as a whole. My biggest complaint thus far is a real lack of food and drink. On Pride of Hawaii there wasn’t a bar closed and most places to eat were serving LOTS. Here — we have late dinning (8:45pm) and wanted a snack. THREE places later and there was no snack to be found. I’m hungry.

Second, I’m now childless. For the next four days, the Prince and I are without child. We are loving it. Yup, this is a life!! However, what do we think of the first childless night together in a long time having twin beds??? Yup, walked into our cabin (Inside, overlooking the Royal Promenade — I suggest you look up cabin 6297 on Freedom of the Seas — we are in a PR cabin– and see where we are) and had twin beds. My first thought was “What the heck???” then I thought —- “hmmm, SLEEP.” We have a queen bed now, so who do you think won? However, the bed is the new upgraded with the pillow top — oh, yum. I’m not thinking too highly of my cabin boy yet either — he left an empty water bottle in one of our drawers. Thus far, I’m rating this trip lower than Pride of Hawaii.

Thirdly, the hot tub is nice on this ship; they have music pumped underwater in one of the pools; and everything is free. I’ve been the gift shop once and will probably go back — I need something for the boy and for my pretty internet buds (yes, there will be a new contest soon — so warm up your writing hats). I’m hoping the Casino will be open soon too — so I can win back some of what this trip is costing me Other than that — let’s hope dinner doesn’t disappoint me.

Finally, I think I’m suffering from a lack of adult beverages right now — I need many, many MANY more.

Today was my last day before we head off to the great wide world of the Freedom of the Seas. I feel rather un-prepared. I shood have deck plans in my hands, have the Prince and I split up and share the photo taking duties, and figure out how to get a spa appointment first thing. What I will end up doing is changing my clothes four times and wondering if I’ve got everything. I suck — we all know this and can move on from the constant reminders of such right?
Also, I have to deal with the fact that Duke will be spending some quality time with the Queen Mum and Queen Pop. He will be brought to us at Club Med on Sunday. Do you think I can sleep in just ONE day between now and then? PLEASE? yep, I’m doubtful too.
I do happen to have BIG news. I’m going to be at BlogHer this year! It is in San Jose and I’m going. I truly can’t wait — there is SO much to learn and so many superstars to meet. But the best part is that I’m a volunteer! I get to go and I get to work at the same time — oh, I’m oh so thrilled — in the least snarky way I can say this. I haven’t come down from this high all day.
So, I don’t know how much I’m going to pay for internet tomorrow and Thursday — unless it is the cost of Duke’s college education, I may try to blog a bit for you folks at home. Otherwise, I’ll get you all an update on Friday.
Presents? Oh, there may still be presents

No, it wasn’t a day and a half since I posted, it is just that we crammed a full day and a half’s worth of fun into a day. And boy are we all tired.
First sidenote: let me be proud to announce that Duke is doing really well with the potty thing. He even woke up from his nap today to go poop (though not going back to sleep could have killed us all). He also went running in (while Prince was doing HIS potty thing) to go pee — which he promptly did on his socks. Of course, in true form for Duke, he could be in underwear by Sunday here and then we will go home and he won’t pee in the potty for two more months.
Second sidenote: The Queen Mum (yes, Polly we are visiting the Queen Mum — not the woman who thinks I stole her son away) and Queen Pop throw a party/BBQ today. It was a blast. We had more food than we should have and enjoyed much laughter. Duke was a charmer and a half — and didn’t fall into the pool at all. Prince got brilliant this evening and took Duke and bought a remote control boat — which turned into the hit of the evening. Shockingly, there was not a single guest here who did not play with the boat — from 3 to 83!!!

And on to the post: I got this e-mail today from Polly, one of our (the royal “our” is use here — we are so thrilled) frequent commenters (and someone who is Pro-Ocean):

You  know when I saw Gin Blossoms?  You knew I was
going before I went.  So while I was there, the lead
singer was taking people cellphones and singing to the
person on the other side.  And I thought wow, how
Queenie is this, a personal concert??  But I didnt
have your phone # saved or I would have totally given
him my phone for him to sing to you.  What would you
have done said - hey sing one of your hits buddy... or
FREEBIRD.. or sing Toad the Wet Sprocket!

So this got me thinking. What would I have asked the Gin Blossoms to play for me on my cell phone — had Polly thought to program my phone number in? At first it was easy — some random hit — but then I got to thinking — really what would the Queen in me suggest? I’m thinking I’m leaning to “God Save the Queen” personally, but do you think that would be too much? So, I’m thinking I’d lean to Toad the Wet Sprocket — or one of my obscure favorites Camper Van Beethoven.

So, now I must ask you what would you have asked? And in this area, what/who is the one concert that you are still willing to sleep outside OVERNIGHT for tickets to? I figure if after 30 you are still willing to sleep outside for tickets, it must really be worth it to you. I however will only reveal my choice in tomorrow’s post.

I don’t get along with the beach. I have never been a sun-bathing, sand in every crack of your body, salt water stringy hair kind of girl. In fact, if given the choice of never seeing the beach again and never seeing a moutain again, I’d opt for losing the beach — without a thought.

Today, I may be forced to change my mind. I present exhibit A.

Please note the happy little boy with his feet in the water. He giggled NON-STOP from the moment the feet hit the sand through the waves knocking him on his butt to the run up the beach to re-join Prince and Queen’s Pop to the post sand shower on the beach. He even enjoyed the nearly naked wrap in a towel and rush to the car.

What he didn’t like is that he had to get another bath when we get home to get the sand out of his butt.

Now, I present exhibit B. Please note the happy boy in the swimming pool. Again, we squelled with delight at every moment. To the point, he asked us to “put him down” in 3 FEET of water — he doesn’t swim yet — but at the pace he’s going, he will be soon enough. We went to Target and picked up a this to help him “swim” more independantly. Wish him luck.

I wish I had other things to report, but I have to admit we live very boring lives. We went to church this morning and Duke sat in my lap through the whole service. That was nice and a little shocking. Duke has been loving all the fun trains in the house. Today he was too happy to take his nap and then at the appointed hour of bedtime, he was running full tilt in circles and told us that there was no way he was going to bed. Once in bed (after a small chat with dad) he was sound asleep in no time. Who knows what time in the morning we will be having a blast again.

There’s a party here tomorrow. I can’t wait. Then Tuesday holds lunch with Prince’s Grandmother and then off to the ship — oh, two whole nights off on a ship — I can’t wait. Can you?

Before I begin, let me warn you, I’m on my SECOND adult beverage after a LONG day that began at 4:45am PST and it is currently Midnight EST. I’m pooped, still sick, and of course, lamenting being awake. The Prince and Duke are currently experimenting with unconscious — seems to be working for them.

Ok, the trip across country takes forever. Just like I kinda believe that we should have advanced modern medicine enough to not have pregnancy last 40 weeks; I think the trip across country should not take 12 hours. I also believe in fairies, but that for another blog — I think.

So, you all want to know how Duke did — he did very well. He was given a special backpack which he was to watch over. Duke did an amazing job at this. We traveled without a stroller — a first really and I’m pleased enough to not go to TRU to buy one. He was good, slept on one of the flights and other than a few little rough spots, was better than those OTHER kids.

However, it wouldn’t be Snarkville without telling you about the problem — really two of them.

First, the rental car company. I went with a different one than our normal one, because it was $100 dollars cheaper. Well, for that $100 dollars, my car wasn’t really waiting for me (eventhough I’d signed up to be a preferred person) and the bus driver sort of dumped the whole bus load of folks in the parking lot with NO information. I called the company, FROM THE PARKING LOT, and got a reservation agent who said to another agent about me, “I want to hang up on this woman.” I got the manager and ended up with an additional $100 off my rental. NOW it is worth it — not sure if we will ever use this company again.

FWIW, we have an HHR for the two weeks. It barely holds all out stuff — but could be a fun car to run around in. I wouldn’t own one — but it isn’t a piece of crap — which is normally what I end up renting.

Secondly, let’s discuss a Mickey D’s experience. We know that Duke is a bite picky and after a day of eating NutruGrain bars, I wanted him to eat dinner. So, we stopped on the way to my parents to pick up his favorite, a Hamburger Happy Meal. Prince ordered, “a hamburger happy meal, plain. Milk. with a toddler toy.” We got TWO plain hamburger and a milk. We called them back to the window to ask for the right item. We got the second time: ONE plain hamburger and a milk. I checked the receipt we were charged for a hamburger happy meal and a plain hamburger. Third time was a charm, we got the requested Happy Meal and the refund. However, the refund was THROWN into (or better at our car). Prince pulls away from the window, throws the car into the closest parking space (which might have been all three handicap parking spaces in front of the McD’s). He went in to speak to the manager.

Welcome to Sunny South Florida. And my body only thinks it is 9pm and it is really midnight.

…yes, the one that says I’m not going to die of skin cancer. The mole, the mole in the middle of my back is….BENIGN!!!! WAHHOO!

So, there is finally joy in Snarkville. Well, there would be, if I had a voice, if I didn’t have mountain of clothes to pack (in some kind of order, since I will be in THREE locations during our trip), and if I didn’t have stitches in my back that itch.

And for the record, the office chick in the doctor’s office sucks — he’s one heck of a nice guy, which kills my normal theory of crappy office lady always equals crappy doctor. I may even recommend him to my bud in Novato who has the doctor with the world’s WORST bedside manner ever — with his personality, he could have been a brain surgeon — Nurses will get that joke.

Party, party, party!!!

There’s a frog in Snarkville and it is me. I thought to open with the classic, “Hello, this is Kermit the Frog” but I fear without sound you’d not think it nearly as funny as I do. Let’s leave my health in the “failing” category and move along to the important stuff of the day.

First, I spoke to school about the timeline to move Duke to the 3’s room. It probably won’t be until winter. He must be potty trained (though I’m loving Polly’s suggestion) and the room is FULL to the brim with kids that aren’t moving up yet. This turns into a good thing, actually. One of the last kids moving up is one of the problem children, so goodbye. We dislike the teacher in the 3s room alot. To the point, Prince and I are already considering a school change, just because this woman is nasty. So, this is what we have. I also learned that there are less issues on Tuesdays and Thursdays when the class isn’t completely full. This makes me think that the problem is more of 2 teachers to 14 kids might be a bit too much for these two teachers (or, oh, anyone — I’m just saying). I am going to talk to the director again when we return and mention that I know it is ok per the state, but since the incidents go up (and there are 12 boys of the 14 — which might not have been factored into the minimum state guidelines) on those days, is there a chance of an extra teacher to pitch in and help out a bit more? Please?

Next, I want to assure all of you that the two e-mails I quoted in the Hippie world post were NOT from the same woman. I know it would be hard to tell, seeing as I changed all indentifiers, but they are not in fact the same. I’m not sure if it is more disturbing that there could be more than one “nut job” out there or that this could seem so normal to so many. In case you were wondering what the final list was for the Organic Daycares was — there basically aren’t any. The one she mentioned is a parent co-op not a daycare, which is why they don’t take un-potty-trained kids under 3. Now, that particular mommy has made other posts that make me laugh, including looking for a babysitter who doesn’t use certain soaps or detergents on her clothing. The sitter can’t have pets, smoke, or otherwise have a life. Now, if you are SO sensitive to everything like this, have you considered a plastic bubble? Or maybe you shouldn’t be going out into the world where’s there things you might breathe like air? I need to get off this rant and move along, because Karma will bite my butt. However, it was kinda nice to turn all my Yahoo groups to “no mail” yesterday. A true vacation awaits me.

Finally, let me leave you with Duke’s plan for the day.

Prince: Do you want to go to school this morning?
Duke: No.
Prince: You get to ride in the blue car.
Duke: No, Daddy.
Prince: Would you like to ride around in circles then?
Duke: Yes.
Prince: Ok, let’s get in the blue car and ride around in circles.

How much you want to bet one of those circles is going to stop right in front of school?

And today’s bonus Duke item — I have *THAT* kid. The one who puts stuff in his ears — yesterday he, and his “friends” made playdough “earrings.” The teacher told me, “I think I got it all out of his ears, but if his ears are bothering him it is probably playdough.” How long from playdough to pea gravel in the nose?

Ok, we all know by now that I’m a transplanted East Coast (and Southern) girl into the world of free love, earth mothers, and silicone valley, right? We all also know that by comparison I’m a wee bit high strung and often look at these people like they are from Mars. Ok, just checking we are all on the same page.

I joined a “Mother’s Club.” I needed friends, thought women with kids could be a nice group of people to meet, right? I think I found the lost colony of loons. Now, let’s keep in mind I live in hippie world. There’s this Yahoo group for my Mother’s club. They typically ask for potty training advice, playgroup things, and oh, selling/giving away of stuff. On the East Coast, I thought this was an important part of mommyhood, where kids clothing/toys/stuff never dies, it just gets passed on until it finally gets to GoodWill and then sold on eBay. So alas. I see lots of: does anyone want this or that e-mails. No biggie right? Until I saw this one:

12 Organic cloth diapers, 2 bumkins small, 6 litewraps med (15-20lbs), 2 litewraps newborn (up to 10 lbs). 2 rolls (100 sheets ech) Kushies diaper liners.
$20 for the lot
All in great condition.

Does anyone else see an issue here? Let go through the Queen’s thoughts one by one:

• Used diapers? HELLO? Yes, I’d like some used tampons please. I’m sorry, I’m highly opposed to putting something YOUR child poo’d in on my child’s butt. Yes, I’m aware of diaper services and the fact this isn’t all that weird, BUT services have HIGH temp washings and I don’t KNOW the person who poo’d in the diaper before my son.
• CLOTH diapers? Ok, I’m well aware of the landfill issues. I’m well aware of tons of enviromental things (I’m even rather aware that cloth diapered babies potty train sooner); but it is 2006, folks. I believe that God invented disposable diapers for a reason and we should embrass them. Plus after a few weeks of dealing with accidents in training pants in the Snark House, I’m thinking that two years of cloth diapers would have had me wandering the streets telling people the world was coming to an end. Go on and ask the next homeless woman you see, I bet she’ll tell you she’s on the streets because she put her kid in cloth diapers, or maybe not — is worth a shot though.
• $20 bucks for the lot? Ok, here’s where I draw the line. People are giving away strollers, climbing structures, and STUFF all the time and you are SELLING diapers, used diapers?? Hey, and did you know that diapers make excellant cleaning cloths? Or maybe you are opposed to dusting your house with something your kid poo’d in? Would that make you think twice about selling them to one of us?
• Finally, the Queen has a question. Is the reason all of these are in newborn sizes because you realized that this was a freak idea and you joined the rest of us on Earth who know and love our disposable diapers? Or is your kid potty trained?

Yes, the Queen has issues, why do you ask? And the biggest thing I’m having problems with is that in a day I’ll see this same woman write that the diapers are sold. Why did I move here again?
To leave you — this is by far my favorite posting to date. I’ve removed all the places to protect the innocent:

Wow, that new XXXXXX Montessori school sounds absolutely amazing. I spoke with them further and they are dedicated to organics and health. No pesticides, nontoxic cleaning and craft supplies, even no carpet and a low VOC paint. Just the kind of place I want my daughter to spend time in! It’s a big chunk of money to spend but, per hour, it’s actually much cheaper than a babysitter.

The catch? They absolutely won’t take children under 3 years. My daughter is 14 months.

I’m not looking for day care/school right now, but my home business is picking up substantially and I may need this in a few months. Soapmaking is *not* compatible with toddlers.

So I’m considering options for the future. I have two wonderful babysitters I found through XXXXX’s babysitting network, but I think a school-like atomsphere would be a good thing, and the costs are lower (not a big deal for the occasional day or evening, but it adds up when it’s regular).

Are there any other organically-minded places around? If the place is like this, you’ll know it. I really can’t use places that don’t spray pesticides inside but don’t know what building maintanance is doing to the outside, or places that are willing to not to use the Lysol in front of my daughter, etc. I want the whole package: organic gardens, wooden toys, natural cleaners, and nontoxic building supplies.

I love the XXXXX Waldorf school in XXXXXXX but it’s pretty far away, awfully expensive, short, and all the classes for children younger than kindergarden require a parent/caregiver to be there too.

I personally am not interested in any place that is identified Christian, but go ahead and send info if appropriate, and I’ll include it in the compilation. Btw, the only Jewish day care in town sprays extremely toxic pesticides indoors and outdoors and uses pressure treated lumber for the gardens and children’s play areas. This is what I need to avoid. Go ahead and give info for any age, since I know people with older children who are interested too, though something for toddlers is ideal for me.

So other than XXXXX Montessori, what’s available? If you email me privately with your replies, I’ll compile them for the list in a few days.

Yes, I may be your Queen of Snarkville, but I live to serve you my gentle readers. I have answers to all your questions (recently left in comments) and a few answers to questions you haven’t even asked yet. Please feel free to ask more if you need answers of any of life’s little queries. As you see, I live to serve.

From our Grenidine Girl:

Yarn says, life’s not so bad, you’ve got me to love you. And the yarn doesn’t charge you or bill your health insurance nor does it require to be fed, diapered or clothed.

True, yarn does make life better. However, she is a cruel mistress who will not tolerate being cheated on with anyone else. Have you tried to knit while thinking of something upseting? How many rows did you have to TINK out? I can share yarn time with some other things, but they must be good happy things, like TV, travel, petting, chatting, or snuggling. I however, can not be mad and knit. This leads me to one of the Prince’s favorite sayings, “Don’t _____, angry.” Fill in your own blank — it works for just about everything.

From our Sarah HB:

Um, can you knit him some socks?

No, I can not knit my father socks. There are three basic problems here. One, I have NO idea what size to knit as I’ve not been close enough to my Dad’s feet in years. Two, he only wears black socks, boring, and I’d be forced to die just from the yarn purchase alone. Three, I can’t knit socks very fast — it would take a few weeks, and we have like DAYS here. I’m thinking I need to bring food of some type.

From our Bad Mommy:

Maybe the Duke would like to come over and work out his feelings by biting C? I’m off tomorrow and would be happy to take the Duke off your hands for a bit if you’d like a nap.

Thank you so much for the offer of a nap and some sitting time. I would have taken you up on hanging out on your day off — BUT, I have no way of contacting you outside of comments — I’ll correct that tomorrow night at Knit Night, I assure you. For now, Duke has not bitten another child. I’m not sure at what point you get chewed on enough to believe that this an acceptable way to react, but I fear it may be coming. I’ve warned the school if it happens, I’m going to walk in the door and tell them, “You taught him to bite, YOU un-teach him to bite. This is NOT my problem.” However, Bad Mommy, if you want to grab coffee this afternoon, I’ll meet you in Novato.

From our Polly:

I’m sorry Duke is so tasty– is it the same biter or as word gotten out that he is so succulent?

I guess we should stop bathing him in chocolate, huh? You know, Duke takes after his father who can eat and eat and eat and still no part of him will hang over his pants. Makes me sick. So, it isn’t like Duke is plump and juicy. It is not the same biter, seems to be multiple different kid. Lately, it has been in response to Duke trying to take something that another kid had and Duke just took and didn’t ask.

From my most wonderful Secret Pal (I’d link to you if I knew your blog — care to share?):

About the biting, since Duke’s almost three see if he can be moved to a room with 3 year olds.

Duke can move to the 3 year old room when he’s potty trained. At the rate we are going, it will be a bit — and probably past the age of 3 for him. So, we are kind of stuck. I am however, going to get dressed here shortly and run down there to observe to see if I see anything that might help. Probably won’t, but at least I’m being helpful, right?

On to questions you didn’t ask or probably care to know:

• Duke is better. Yup, less than 6 coughs yesterday all within seconds of drinking a little milk — so I think he’s still got some phlegm, but nothing like it was. I’m canceling the doctor’s appointment and sending him to school.
• I am not. I slept SO well last night I couldn’t believe it. I actually got a full night’s sleep — thank you Nyquil. I’m on cup of coffee number 2 just to keep my eyes open. However, I could make bank doing phone sex, because I’m totally the sexy voice lady right now.
• My stitches are not comfortable. It seems that while I would have bet that this part of my back doesn’t move — it MOVES with every single thing I do. I can feel them pulling and it isn’t fun. The Queen Mum tells me that as it heals it will actually feel worse because of pulling. ICK. I’m done now, put a fork in me.
• I leave on Friday, folks!!! I become a jet setter once again to head to the East Coast, from whence I came, then on a ship, then to Club Med. Yes, I live the life. Who wants me to pack them in my suitcase? Any bets on how much yarn I’ll take?
• There are TWO entries for Pride of Hawai’i stuff. TWO folks??? Get your entries in before I get back from my trip and I’ll have Prince pick in a winner. At this point, I may split up the stuff and make both winners — so hello, folks, if you want me to score decent crap from this trip, you need to encourage me!!!!!
• I will be at Knit Night this Thursday — even though I’ll be heading to the airport at 5am on Friday. I am hoping to be more over this bug — we think if I have what Duke did, I’ll be done soon enough. I’m taking that Airborne stuff that is supposed to help and while it isn’t the tastiest, I’m doing ok and it may actually be helping.

First I want to thank my friends who are cheering me up so much for the what could be listed a truly a very, bad day. I have thrown myself a huge pity party — there were balloons, did you see them?– and I’m feeling better. But it is only 7am there’s so much time.

Let’s get the bitching over so we can move to the good stuff:
I think I’m getting sick. I woke up with all the fun drainage that is the early warning signs that by Thursday I’ll be miserable. However, I’m the mommy so we all know that life will not stop long enough for me to die quietly in my bed.
Duke is not feeling great; but while I’m still planning on taking him to the doctor, I have a feeling we may be working on that last molar and not an ear infection — only because my mommy gut says so — oh, that and the crying all night long. Yes, I sent him to school this morning because I have a meeting and I know my doctor’s office won’t see him until late this afternoon or tomorrow. I’ll be calling at 9am on the dot when they open.

Now on to the good stuff:

First the Socks that Rock Box.

Now, I’m about to say the worst thing ever. The sock pattern SUCKS. Sorry. I love the yarn (even with the little bit of purple in it); I love the emergency sock yarn; I even love the “love note” from Blue Moon. However, I think the pattern is one of the ulgiest things I’ve ever seen. Now in its defense, I do NOT wear ankle socks. I hated them as a kid, I don’t wear them now. And this pattern has a linen stitch ankle which is worked flat and then stitches are picked up on one long side joined and knit the foot of the sock. Now, I’m completely interested in the linen stitch, so much so that I’m thinking of completely altering the pattern to use the linen stitch in the round for the ankle — thus making it longer and eliminating the buttons. Thoughts? Do we think the linen stitch will work as the leg of a sock?

But back to the good. After posting last night, I knitted a bit on my fair isle bag, which is coming along. I think in a way I knew I needed yarn time. I also am enjoying watching a huge number of taped movies that we TIVO’d on a recent free movie weekend. Warning, my NetFlix is well over 100 movies and I’m mostly watching what was out three and four years ago. So, I watched a few movies and knitted away. I feel better, though I’m still taking a few more Advil than I like to take, because frankly, my back HURTS. (and I’m a wee bit concerned about the shower I’m about to take.)

Finally, I have a sweet Duke story to share, to prove I’m not a puddle of self-pity and I didn’t move from Snarkville to Pity World. So, we are seeing my folks at the end of this week and Duke needs a haircut — so he’d look good in the 9 billion photos which will be taken. So, I took him Sunday afternoon to get his haircut. I tried a new place, but they had closed 15 minutes earlier, so back to the standby of Supercuts. I walk in and see a waiting room full of people. I put Duke’s name on the list and was told the wait would be an hour or more. So I thought we’d go home to wait. But Duke didn’t want to leave. I got him out and we ran a few errands. (now please remember he’s two — three in August). We go to the pet store for kitty litter. They have little kid carts there, so he got his own cart and we played follow the leader through the store. I picked up a thing of litter and Duke tried to pick one up too — only it was too big, funny but too heavy. We then toured the fish, the cats, the gerbils, and the birds. But Duke was doing great at following the leader — something new for him. Then we took the litter to the car and he stomped in rain puddles while I loaded the car. Then to Trader Joe’s for a bit. Duke helped me carry my muffins and gave them to the checker. He told me he wanted to pay, so I gave him a $5 and he got change like a big boy. He was so proud — you could see the little chest puff out and everything. So back we go to get the haircut. He waited as well as any 2 year old can — including knocking down an entire section of hair product. But he got his turn. He sat up straight and good — so thrilled to get his hair cut he was. Then out of the blue he looks at me and says, “Balloon.” (which he gets there after a cut) I said, “Yes, sweetie you can get a balloon when we are done. Hold still please.” He grabbed his head to try to hold it still. I snorted hair laughing. Then a girl walks in and gets a purple balloon. Duke says (as the stylist has a lock of his hair cutting). “I done. I want purple balloon.” We were still getting the last bits trimmed as he was getting down from the chair. But he got his purple balloon. He was so proud he wanted to take it to school yesterday morning. Maybe next time I’ll let him — since maybe he can shove the purple balloon in the mouth of the bitter.

So, did you see the balloons? Who knew purple balloons are all that are needed to make someone happy — oh to be two again!