Finding Joy in Snarkville

Well, sort of.

The Queen Mum and I have long been obcessed fascinated with personality tests.  I was in high school, on a college tour, with her when we were asked to take the Myers-Brigs for the first time.  It was eye opening at the time and we have been seeking tests to learn more about ourselves ever since.

To that end, I suggest that you all take this test then we can talk.  It’s ok, I’ll wait.

So, in this test (which in the NUMBER of times I’ve taken a Jung/Myers-Brigs type test, this is one of the shorter versions, I came out to be ESFJ.  This was news to me, because I was always testing to be an ESTJ — so how could my “thinking” and “feeling” thing just switch?

Mum says it is maturing with my age and normal changes over time.  I however am beginning to believe that perhaps I WANT to be an ESTJ and really am an ESFJ.  I say this because of the cool links after you take the test.  This is the singularly most accurate description of me I’ve ever read.  If I were a decent writer, this is what I would have written about who I am.

Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations, ESFJs are generous entertainers. They enjoy and joyfully observe traditions and are liberal in giving, especially where custom prescribes.

Um, do I need to go into the whole “Birthday Month” thing.  However, I freely admit I’m not perfect about making sure cards go out (or calling my father — which we discussed earlier).  However, I’m huge on traditions, holidays, and gifts.  For as long as I can remember I get an extra spring in my step around Christmas, what with all the decorating, baking, presents.  And then of course there is Birthday Month. (As a total sidenote: last night while knitting; my buddy (and yarn shop owner) was so delightful in helping me become a complete ass and asking the date of said birthday no fewer than 8 or 9 times — no I’m not embarassed, why do you ask?)

All else being equal, ESFJs enjoy being in charge. They see problems clearly and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest. ESFJs, as do most SJs, bear strong allegiance to rights of seniority. They willingly provide service (which embodies life’s meaning) and expect the same from others.

In charge? Me?  Who’d a thunk it?  I can’t imagine where they’d get this idea from?  No, seriously, no one at bowling night told Prince that I wear the pants in our family — more than four or five times.  Oh, no, I’m not the one who likes to run things?  I so HAPPILY sit back and let others run the show.  And if you believe that I’ve got a bridge to sell you.

ESFJs are easily wounded. And when wounded, their emotions will not be contained. They by nature “wear their hearts on their sleeves,” often exuding warmth and bonhomie, but not infrequently boiling over with the vexation of their souls. Some ESFJs channel these vibrant emotions into moving dramatic performances on stage and screen.

My heart on my sleeve is a trademark for the Queen.  I think we’ve reviewed this enough of late, but I wish only wish that I could channel it into better performances on stage and screen — at least then it would be paying me back.

Strong, contradictory forces consume the ESFJ. Their sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, ‘mothering’ drive. This sometimes results in swift, immediate action taken upon a transgressor, followed by stern reprimand; ultimately, however, the prodigal is wrested from the gallows of their folly, just as the noose tightens and all hope is lost, by the very executioner!

Um, ok.  Let’s leave it as I’ve got an overdeveloped sense of “fair” and “right and wrong.”  Let’s also leave it as I am rather vicicous about protecting those I love, often to a fault.

An ESFJ at odds with self is a remarkable sight. When a decision must be made, especially one involving the risk of conflict (abhorrent to ESFJs), there ensues an in-house wrestling match between the aforementioned black-and-white Values and the Nemesis of Discord. The contender pits self against self, once firmly deciding with the Right, then switching to Prudence to forestall hostilities, countered by unswerving Values, ad exhaustium, winner take all.

Ok, this one shocked me.  Really?  I think anyone who knows me very long will have heard me say that I don’t mind conflict.  In fact, I truly have a hate for those who say, “I hate conflict.”  I think of this as such a cop-out.  You see, from the way I look at it there are really two kinds of people in this world with regards to conflict.  Those who suck it up and deal with it and the passive aggressives.  I don’t really have much use for the passive aggressives in this world.  But where this shocked me was that it states that I should “avoid” conflict.  It took a night or two to sink in, really — I’m slow.  I realized that yes, I do tend to avoid conflict.  I will, all too often, not stand up for something for me to avoid the conflict.  And yet that itself conflicts with my own “black and white” view of right and wrong.  Thus, I concluded at 2am, I am IN conflict.  I resolve to work on this — but as a personality trait it may take a bit.

As caretakers, ESFJs sense danger all around–germs within, the elements without, unscrupulous malefactors, insidious character flaws. The world is a dangerous place, not to be trusted. Not that the ESFJ is paranoid; ‘hyper-vigilant’ would be more precise. And thus they serve excellently as protectors, outstanding in fields such as medical care and elementary education.

Let’s say that again. “The world is a dangerous place, not to be trusted.”  Hmm, wow, does that sound familar to me.  I can’t imagine why I would think that is the call out here?  Actually, yes, I do see this in myself.  I think that it is one of the reasons that while I’m an “E” (extrovet) I’m not the most outgoing person in the room.  I see pitfalls, that I all too often fall into, in front of me.  And I do try to avoid them.  I don’t think I’m at risk of locking myself in the house with a tinfoil hat anytime soon — but I am going to go wash my hands again, k?

So, there I am.  Laid bare before you all.  I’d love to know who you are based on these scores.  Does your description really describe the true you?  Did you get a better view of how you view the world and how the world views you?

I will leave you with this from the other link at the end of the test:

Providers are extremely sensitive to the feelings of others, which makes them perhaps the most sympathetic of all the types, but which also leaves them rather self-conscious, that is, highly sensitive to what others think of them. Because of this Providers can be crushed by personal criticism, and will work most effectively when given ample appreciation both for themselves personally and for the service they give to others. This is not to say that Providers are afraid to express their own emotional reactions. They are quick to like and dislike-and don’t mind saying so-tending to put on a pedestal whatever or whoever they admire, and to come down hard on those people and issues they don’t care for.

’nuff said.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 8th, 2006 at 9:20 am and is filed under The Queen. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.