Finding Joy in Snarkville

…til it is over.

Yes, I know you all might be thinking that just because *THE* day has past that somehow from this point forward I will be focusing on other topics than Birthday Month.  Yet, I fear, I must inform you that I’m just not that deep.

That’s not really true, I am that deep.  I have tons of other things to talk about.  Tons of things going on in my life.  Snark to share about the people around me — including those fun folks in the mother’s club.  But we must save things for tomorrow, right?

Moving on.  Did you notice I didn’t post yesterday?  Well, I am betting that you all thought, wow, she must be doing some serious Day-After birthday celebrating to not post.  Not so much.  Yesterday can be summed up with “I kicked the snot; went to the grocery store; and wiped Duke’s nose.” Yup, excitement abounds in Snarkville.

So, given that I bordered on absolute sloth yesterday — which we forever refer to as “Post Birthday Exhaustion” or PBE for short.  I thought today we should send another open letter — today the lucky receiptant is — the local race track in town. (I want it understood we live MILES away from said track.)

Dear Local Race Track Owner:

I know that recently you have made the news many, many times; what with all that talk of tearing your track down and building a baseball stadium.  However, I wanted to encourage you to seriously consider the option.

While I’m sure you see loss of revenue and your kids’ college educations going away, I see something entirely different.  Potential hearing loss adverted.  Do you have any idea how LOUD racing is?  Did you hear me?  I live many MILES from your track; and I just love it when on a Saturday night you are racing well past 10pm.  I can hear the cars, zooming around the track.  I go to bed at 11pm hoping it will stop.  The engines get louder, the cars are noisy.  Thankfully, I don’t live any closer, or the smell would join the sounds for a true joy to my senses.
So, given the fact that your track is loud enough to keep people awake for miles and miles, can you explain to me why you have the nerve to call your track great “family” entertainment and baseball not?  I don’t get it.  First, baseball is not a loud sport.  Yes, fans cheer, there’s normally a guy who can’t sing on the loud speaker — but never have I wanted (begged for actually) ear plugs at a baseball game — much less miles away from one.   Never once has someone caught on fire in the middle of a game, like your cars do.  I’m going out on a limb here and suggest that at no time in baseball has a tire come off the field into the stands.  Now, I’ll grant foul balls do go into the stands — but frankly you an get out of the way or catch the ball.  In reality, we are talking minor league here, so show up to the game with a glove and you may very well get tapped to join in.

Now, my dislike for your track isn’t because I like baseball better.  It is simple because you keep me up at night.

Thank you for stopping the insanity.  Please tell the racers to keep it down.

Yours,

The old deaf lady.
What?  I didn’t quite hear you.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 18th, 2006 at 8:22 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.