Join Me in Snarkville

I woke up with a start this morning at 5ish am (yes, I’m completely insane), and I thought “Oh, my, I haven’t blogged in a few days, what are PEOPLE going to think.” (See for more proof of my insanity.) First, I instantly thought I should pop out of bed and blog; then I went down this rather insane road of what about… Then the thought bubble above my head popped. I went back to sleep — which almost never happens. Thus, this morning, you get my bullets points.

Before I begin my bullet points of Friday, I started to think about how much I like bullet points. Much like the lists I constantly make, check, and cross things off of (and yes, I’ve been known to add done items just to cross them off), bullet points make sense to my brain. They are simple and clean and short — things my old brain enjoys.

• I know everyone is seeking the update on cat barf. Well, there’s been a bit of it around here. For the record Tuesday morning, I steped in the SAME 3 puddles of cat barf all of those times. However, my eldest cat is going through a new bout of food issues. I finally gave up last night and declared all cats get chicken. I know this will shock everyone — there was NO barf last night. I guess when Mommy boils chicken it all stays down. Any chance of me teaching the cats to boil their OWN chicken?
• Bowling this week was “interesting” to say the least. First, I should note that as of this writing my team is in first place — despite the fact I’m single handedly holding the bottom end of the team. Anyway, we were getting our little butts kicked on bowling night — when in the 5th frame the computers completely shut down. It seems that the guys who set it up that evening never put it in the proper mode and by the time they pulled out the manual, we had lost all our scores. We The captains voted to extend the season by a week and re-do the line-up next week, probably because there was this woman who loudly casually mentioned an overpriced babysitter at home — no, I have no idea who she was. In addition, I got some much needed practice. I still suck — but I’m practiced at it now.
• And finally, I feel I must leave you with the following e-mail exchange with the director of Duke’s school and Prince.

From the Director: Title of E-mail: I must apologize now:

NO, he wasn’t bit! And for that, I am happy to report ;o) But….I think that having you drop him off (instead of dad, which is a change in routine) and having Ms. Fill-in teacher in the room (instead of Ms. Regular-Morning Lady, again…a change in routine) AND, to “top it all off,” to have a banana that had a huge bruise on one end (even though the entire rest of the banana looked spectacular) just sent him over the edge. He was in the room crying, which broke my heart. I went in to visit him and saw these huge crocodile tears- 1/2 a banana in each hand. So I had to make it better, right? That’s when I asked him if I could do something special for him. He was more than willing, but a tad confused. I gently took 1/2 of his banana, ran into the kitchen, sliced it up width wise, and poured a small amount of sugar free chocolate syrup on it, promptly returned it, and “voila!” Instant happy child! Did I know that he wasn’t the best eater when I made this decision? Yes. Did I know that there was a very small chance that he may now always want bananas with chocolate syrup? Yes. But as you said previously with the “red car to school” example, isn’t it better than him not wanting to go to school at all? Yes, yes, yes!! So if you happen to to hear the words “chocolate” and “banana” in the same sentence, you can blame me, okay? So….let me just apologize now.

From Prince back to the Director:

I can see it now, we’re now headed down the road where we’re going to have to put chocolate syrup on everything before he eats it… Ahh yes, picture if you will the scene at the dinner table… “Hey, do you want some pork chops?”…. “Dad, only if you put the chocolate syrup on it!…” Or better yet while dining at the fancy restaurant: “Duke, try this roast duck it’s delicious!” “But mom I’m not going to try it unless you get me some chocolate syrup to dip in!”

From the Director BACK to the Prince:

Hey! Roast duck is probably good with chocolate syrup. Have you ever had Spanish “mole?” It’s a chocolate syrup that goes on food (and NOT just fruit!) I think it usually goes on chicken, though….but isn’t pork “the other white meat?” Remember, I said sugar free. Doesn’t that count for something?