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Earthshattering News

No, not really, but it seemed like a great place to start. Today we are going to the explore the lovely world of perspective. Everyone take out your pencils and close your books, it is time for a pop quiz.

  1. If an earthquake hits in North Carolina that is by all reports “micro” (a 2.6) and according to the USGS “won’t be felt by many people”, explain to me why:
    1. the newspaper reports, “About 150 calls came into the Winston-Salem Police Department after the quake, said police Lt. David Kiger. “They reported a loud explosion and ground shaking,” he said. “They just want to know what was going on.”
    2. And this.
    3. I submit for comparison this and this and this.
  2. In bullet form, please explain how Prince can get a wild bug to clean up the living room at 10pm last night and end up with this.
  3. And finally, please locate a 12 step program for the royal member of this household who was “angry” at the DirecTV person who she called at 11:30pm because two of the shows didn’t record, because (and I’m quoting here) “my DVR was not not activated.” I swear (as horribly humilating as this is) that I was actually upset with the poor girl on the other end of the phone because my TIVO didn’t record Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. In addition, she FIXED my problem — despite me being upset. I think she needs to be employee of the month and I should be shamed (hence this public admission). Now I must locate the episode on the net and watch it.

Please submit all of your answers in comments and grades will be passed out tomorrow. Please keep your eyes on your own paper and raise your hand if you have a question.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 17th, 2006 at 8:55 am and is filed under Snark for Snarky Sake. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “Earthshattering News”

  1. Niki Says:
    October 17th, 2006 at 3:01 pm

    OK, now you’re laughing at us. We’re rednecks, we can’t help it. “What’s that shakin’ Maw?” “That was a big ‘un!” Trust me, this is ALL that will be on the local news tonight – “we’ll talk to people who felt the earth shaking!” I, for one, felt nothing, heard nothing, and certainly didn’t call the police to report it. If I hear one more person on tv say “shake, rattle, and roll” one more time, I may throw up.

  2. Niki Says:
    October 17th, 2006 at 3:08 pm

    I swear to you, on the 5:00 news, they just spent 4 minutes on the earthquake, then did a segment on \”earthquake preparedness\”, and number one was to have an \”earthquake kit\”. Hubby suggested that would be 2 bungee cords. I want to move to somewhere that people aren\’t complete idiots. Any suggestions? I would like to submit, for your review, our local news\’ \”tell us about your experience\” site – http://forums.ibsys.com/viewmessages.cfm?sitekey=gws&Forum=186&Topic=14651 If you want a good laugh (or cry, perhaps), read a few of these.

  3. Holly Jo Says:
    October 17th, 2006 at 9:30 pm

    Your earthquake thing made me giggle. We get big earthquakes all the time. Me: “Wow that made water slosh out of the fish tank.” Husband: “Must have been close.” Won’t even make the news. :)

  4. Dara Says:
    October 18th, 2006 at 5:10 am

    Hey, I recognize those Cole Hahn shoes! They are your Seattle Deal of the Day!

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