Join Me in Snarkville

It has been a little busy on the ship since we boarded, what with all the unpacking, eating, and exploring to do.

I’m sitting on the Vision of the Seas, one of Royal Caribbean’s smaller ships. I later learn that she was purpose built for world cruising — a market that Royal Caribbean is not currently tapping. However, I’m kind of in love with this ship. She has a charm and a beauty to her without being overwhelming. There will be more reviews about the ship itself, I’m sure — but my Sea Socks folks should be assured that I spent many hours working on special things for you guys.

Back to ME, though. We had to tender into Cabo this morning. I had booked us on a private excursion for an ATV ride and an optional repell. When booking it, I knew Prince would dig the ATV ride, while I was looking forward to the repelling. I mean why not just walk backwards off an 80′ high rock, right? Alrighty.

We got on the small boat to take us to the cruise terminal (Cabo is a shallow water port, so large cruise ships can not dock — the tendering process is painless — though when 2,000 people want off the ship at the same time it becomes a little stressful.) Once on land again, we met the two things I dislike about about Mexico — the heat and REALLY pushy people. Prince and I wandered through some shops — sidenote: let me share with you the shopping experience in all three of the ports we went to…..jewelry/bar/souvenirs — and frankly by the thrid shop it all looked the same — heck, it was all the same dang store!

Then we met Manuel. Manuel had dredlocks as long as Duke is tall and yet was essentially a white guy — it looked really funny. But nice — oh my, was he nice. We got in the van and DROVE — DROVE — DROVE (there was more than 10 minutes I wondered if we were headed into the “Proof of Life” movie) — then we made a U-turn and pulled into a hut. A hut is really rather generous of me, it was more of a roof with a floor. Manuel tells us that this is where we will take the ATVs. There was more in Spanglish — but frankly I had gone to my happy place and smiled an nodded. About the time I was fitted for a helmet, I suddenly had a thought, “I have NO idea how to drive an ATV.” Ok, go back to your happy place and SMILE.

We got the equiptment. We sat on two of the three available ATVs (brief wondering how this company could make it with only 3 ATVs). We got an inservice on driving. Prince took to it like a duck to water — I may or may not have gotten told at some point to leave the thing in 3rd gear and don’t touch anything. Then this guy (who if I remembered his name would be shocking) pulls up in ATV #4. He has climbing harness on and given that I understood like every 4 words (I must stop to admit that it was only partially because their English was bad — it was much more because I kept going to my happy place where it wasn’t 1000 degrees, I wasn’t in the middle of a dust pit, and I wasn’t sitting on an engine with wheels wondering what was I thinking) I assumed he was both guide and repell dude.

Off we went. I was second in line and COULD.NOT.KEEP.UP. some of it was because I was COMPLETELY AFRAID and the other bit was because we were going fast. I failed to cut a turn right and ended up a little stuck — at which point I was forced to admit I paid NO attention to how to get this beast into reverse — opps — and my plan to stay in 3rd gear and live was completely shot. I also learned one important thing — shifting the gears with my toes (the toes of my LEFT (not dominant) foot) was HARD.

Off we drove again. We rode down was looked like a dry creek bed. 4 ATVs, 5 people (Manuel, David (his trainee), the Queen, Prince, and nameless climbing dude). We rode and the ride was rather boring. I thought for a moment — I hope this isn’t all…then we stopped at this ROCK.

The equiptment was set out — it consisted of a tarp, some rope, two helmets, some gloves, and I saw a giant suitcase that all of that came out of. Back to my happy place again. I looked up, this rock was HUGE. It was smooth and high and had this single rope coming down from it that looked a little like dental floss by comparison. Deep Breath. At somepoint it was explained that our ATV guide was running late with an early am group and we would be repelling first. (FYI, no one in Mexico got my joke when I’d tell them that this was my first time, but Prince had been repelling for years. bummer.) OK. I put the harnass on as instructed. I put my helmet on. I listened intently at the instructions. I practiced as I was told. I learned the key to repelling is to keep your dominant hand (my right — Prince’s left) at your butt — in fact, “sit” on it. Got it.

Next we had to climb to top of the rock. It was NOT an easy stroll. Come to find out, if you find a rock to repell down — it probably comes with a climb up — who knew? I climbed, the boys encouraged — I made it to the top. The view? not so much to look at — especially when I kept trying to SEE the ground. Deep Breath. Happy Place.

We got attentional instructions. Something about the rope being heavy and needing to feed the harnass to get started. Ok, got it. Prince was up first. Fearless he backs off the rock and heads down. Manuel had gotten ahold of our camera and took loads of photos (and once Prince gets around to sharing I will share too). My turn. Climbing Dude hooks me up. He is calm and repeats the additional instructions. I start to go down backwards. On this rock you have to walk backwards to the edge about 10 feet before going down — it is those 10 feet where you can’t see how much further to the edge, the rope isn’t really tight, so you don’t feel like your equiptment is holding onto you that SUCK. I got 2 feet backwards and stopped COLD. I could not move. After taking some time, I needed to come back to the top and breath a bit. Climbing dude was cool and helped me feel better about totally chickening out.

Now the new guy in their team went. He was just as scared as me — in fact it took him as long as Prince’s whole repell to get to the edge. I was feeling better. Ok, I’m going to try again. Prince climbs back up the rock to go again. So, my turn again. I’m hooked up to the rope. I’m listening to the instructions. Wait, what is that — did I just make some sort of JOKE? I must be ok with this. Prince and I are talking as I walk backwards. I don’t think I’ve gotten any futher than the first time when I hear — “YOU ARE AT THE EDGE, lean back a little more.” I do and I now realize I’m 90 degrees to the rock face. I’m going slowly down the rock face. I get another 20 feet down and announce that “I’m doing it. I’m really doing it.” I was elated. Another 10 feet and the rock curves in and I had to go a few feet without my feet on the wall. At that point the heavy rope no longer needed to be fed and I could just control my FALL by holding tighter with my right hand that I was sitting on — PROBLEM — I’m a complete weakling. My right hand was giving out. I could no longer squeeze tight enough to stop completely — oh and my left hand that is holding the top bit of rope is BURNING with rope burn THROUGH my glove. Oh, crap. I wonder how much more I have to go. “help” I say (in a small voice) — there is someone at the bottom holding the rope to control the decent. Another 20 feet or so — my feet slip and I twist on my rope 360 degrees. Ok, I think, this is NOT good. “um, guys, I want down now — I’m done.” My elation of the first 20 feet now completely gone. I see bird poo on the rock and try to remember how far up the poop was when I looked from the ground. Next thing I see is the ground. I flip my feet down and land not so gracefully on my feet. For a split second I think I should be kissing the ground — instead I thank God that I’m alive and beg forgiveness for being so STUPID. Then I look up. I see the bird poop on the rock — it was all of 8 or 9 feet above my head. I was “DONE” at the end — I’d made the majority of the repell without a problem. Cool.

Then Prince bounces down for his second repell and makes me sick.

We gather our stuff back up. We get water and granola bars. Manuel introduces me to Mexican Doritos — which have more of a bite to them. And we head off to meet our ATV guide. When we get back to the hut to meet him — I see the 50 other ATVs they have and feel instantly better. I’ve gained some confidence on the ATV, though I truly hated some of the bumpy parts. And was ready for a ride. We rode and rode. Some of the trails were easy and some were a little hard (like going downhill and then taking a sharp turn at fast pace), then we went up some part of the trail and I looked up (and stopped worrying about the catcus on wither side of me that I surely was going to run into) and I saw an amazing view. There was a mountain and some flowers and it was breath taking. Then we made a sharp turn and I had to focus on driving again. WOW. That view was worth it.

Then, we start into an area with some sharp turns. Again I’m the second ATV (this time of three). Our guide turned, I was trying to keep my pace up, but mis judged the turn and ran into a tree. Actually more of a bush and I would have been able to get out IF Prince had not come around the turn just as fast and ran smack into me. Then *HE* had to figure out reverse in order to move so I could get out of the tree. Our guide was so far ahead of us — he never knew what happened — but it was funny.

What a day. I repelled. I drove an ATV. Prince and I ran into each other. And finally, dusty and tired, we headed back to the ship to pick Duke up and head out of Cabo.

Oh yes…today is Halloween — more on that later.