Finding Joy in Snarkville

One might argue that there are more things I don’t get than things I do, but I counter with a simple, “I’m a bright girl; I’m capable of lots of things…however, this (whatever this is at the time) is just whack.”  (Note, cleaver use of slang you will never ACTUALLY hear come out of my mouth until it has been dead for 10+ years.  I’m cool like that.)

This is Monday’s Edition of things I just don’t get.  I consider this prep for being REALLY thankful on Thursday — you know while eating all my sides — face it the feast isn’t about turkey, turkey is the excuse to make all the great sides.

1. If you make a pot of coffee in my house less than once a year and I tell you that the recipe is 4 scoops to enough water to get to the 6 in the pot, what makes you think that you can “eyeball” the amount of coffee?  Does anyone want a cup of coffee made from TRIPLE the grounds with same amount of water?  No?  Neither did you, it seems, since you left a half drank cup.  But claiming it was PERFECT — that just took the cake.
2. If you are three, I will suspect that when you ASK to see the doctor on a Sunday that something is up.  The problem is that when you tell me you NEED to see the doctor for new Cars stitckers and I offer to take you somewhere else that has them, you tell me “NO, I want to go to the doctor.”  Do you think the doctor cornered the market on stickers with “Mater” on them?
3. Why is it required out here that you drive 5 miles lower than the speed limit and then attempt to coast UP hills and brake going DOWN?  Do they not teach the skinny petal on the right in driving school out here?
4. At what point have I abused the “let’s have an outing” and end up going to Target card?  I wonder because this weekend, my son was ASKING to go to Target — but like me he couldn’t tell me what we needed there, just was sure we needed something.
5. After an entire day of fun an excitement with your mother, why would you recount in detail for your father every TV show you were allowed to watch?
6. Why was I not able to figure this one out SOONER.  Come to find out if you tell a sleepy child he can stay up all night, if he’ll lay in bed for 5 minutes with his eyes closed, he goes right to sleep.  Who knew this and didn’t share?  I’m taking names and giving them to the teacher — you should have TOLD me!

This entry was posted on Monday, November 20th, 2006 at 12:19 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.