Join Me in Snarkville

…everyone would be ok with watching the Superbowl like me, 4 hours after it was over and fast forwarding through all the boring football parts. Yup, it took me about an hour to push through the entire game and watch every single commerical. It is like reverse TIVO.

The good news is that Prince didn’t object to this viewing of the “big game.” I’m pretty weird about the whole thing — while I am so NOTAFAN of pro-football, I am horrified if people don’t some basics, that *I* think everyone should know. See this an exerpt from a KNITTING e-mail I got:

I knit on socks at the SUPERBOWL party tonight, at my church. Payton
Manning is from here, and played for Ole Miss, my dad’s alma mater. Dad
had followed his career, as well as his father’s, Archie Manning, with
the New Orleans Saints. So I was totally thrilled to see Payton play
such a beautiful game, and see his Colts WIN!! He’s the only football
player I really follow.

Um, excuse me, WHAT??? I read this in my e-mail this morning and I get all hot under the collar (sidenote: she began her e-mail on a rant about why kids shouldn’t be allowed in yarn shops — which I think may have started to push my buttons a little — the phrase “grubby little mitts” should not be used in my general vicinity, just saying.) Anyway. I start to thinking, “I’m pretty sure Peyton played for UT and not Ole Miss; but maybe I’m too far removed from Southern Football to remember correctly….maybe I’m thinking about his brother….maybe…oh, poo — this is just going to bug me.” So, I do what every normal person does — I stewed and read more blogs.

Then I come across this little line in Miss Zoot’s blog:

Way to go, Peyton. The Vols won the National title the year after you left; and I’ve felt bad for you ever since.

Well, NOW I feel all empowered. First, I know Miss Zoot is a HUGE Vols fan, so she’d know AND I also know she follows college ball, so thus she’d be the expert right?

So, I start off my reply to this woman: “How dumb can you be? Is it possible that no only are you are so stuck-up in your private world that you think children shouldn’t be exposed to wool, that you also have NO idea what college Peyton Manning played for? And this is the ONLY player you follow, so it isn’t likely that you small brain is too cluttered with information to block this piece out. Also, to confuse Ole Miss and UT is somewhere along the lines of confusing the peanut butter for the jelly. Oh, and while you are studing up on your ‘favorite’ football player, his name is spelled ‘PEYTON’, not ‘Payton.’ ” Ah, then I felt better. Then I checked my spelling and re-wrote it as follows:

I believe you are thinking of the wrong Manning. It would seem that Peyton, who went to UT, has a father, Archie, and brothers, Eli and Cooper, who all went to Ole Miss.

All praises go to Wikipedia for my intense football knowledge. But note, while I’m about as far from a football fan as humanly possible, as a Tennessee girl, I have some pride. I’m sure Peyton will be thrilled to know I defended his attendance of UT and not Ole Miss. When he calls to thank me, I’ll let you know.