Join Me in Snarkville

Ok, I wrote a LONG post about my knitting theory, but when I went to post, it appeared twice.  Thinking I was ALL cool, I thought I could fix it and I ended up deleting the post.  I do not have it in me to reproduce the “I’m a total and complete geek” post proof.  Sorry.  So, if you are or know someone who is a complete math wiz, perhaps someone with a working knowledge of the helix, kindly point them my general direction.

Moving right along.

Spring has sprung at Frankenhouse.  You might recall that Frankenhouse came with a gardener.  A gardener who did little actual gardening.  Now, yes every other week he blew the leaves away and when something he could use his power edger on over grew, he’d cut it back.  However, I was quickly becoming overgrown by the shurbery around here.  While there is absolutely NO grass to be cut, this is the most high maintance yard I’ve ever seen.

No, never to be one that doesn’t complain, I called the owners of Frankenhouse and mentioned to them that may not be getting what they paid for.  It seems my call prompted them to fire the gardener and as of thus have not re-hired one.  This brings me to yesterday.

Yesterday was a beautiful day outside.  It was balmy and sunny and life was happening.  Now my natural, slug-like tendancies wanted to take over and spend my day in my PJs inside watching stuff on TIVO; but the call of the outdoors won out and we got dressed and headed outside.

Duke took to his tricycle and quickly resumed his game of tricycle bowling, while I kept looking around the front yard.  It was ICKY.  There were weeds that were apparently NOT getting my message that I wanted them to die already.  There were not-weeds that were so desperate to be trimmed up and shaped they were now falling over into the path (I like to call it the Pointless path, because it sits between house and a front raised bed — and it leads to the side of the house and the base of a steep hill that is ALWAYS muddy.)  Okay then, today I do something out here.

I get my gloves. I bring over the HUGE yard waste pail. I trim up the shrubs and begin to pull weeds.  I stuck to the weeds that were in the path ONLY.  Seriously the weeds that were in the three foot wide path to nowhere.  Let’s be generous and say the whole path is 15′ long.  I filled the yard waste container.  I made NO appreciable difference to the rattiness of the front yard and I FILLED THE PAIL.  Worse, I filled the pail within 30 minutes of starting my project.  At this rate, there is NO way to clean-up (read: gain control) over the flora and fauna EVER.

Yes, I fully intend to call the owners today and kindly explain to them that the house is being overtaken by rouge rose bushes,  I will explain that I do expect the gardener as promised or a break on my rent to cover my paying the gardener.  However the past six months without a gardener have not been kind on the yard and spring is upon us.