Finding Joy in Snarkville

I have a tight connection on one of my many upcoming flights.  Not because I scheduled a scant 38 minutes to navigate from one end of an airport to the potential other end (or walk to another state, who knows), but because my dear sweet air carrier with the mostest (I mean cheapest) changed the flight schedule.

Yes, I’ve been living in denial about this shift and its affect on me, until today.  Well, since I had nothing else pressing on me to get done, I thought I’d call the airline and discuss their policy (this may have been prompted by the warnings I was reading that said, “failure to be in the gate area 10 minutes prior to departure will result in fortfiture of your seat and you will not be re-booked”)  Deep breaths.Dialing the phone.

Me: I am scheduled to be on a flight this week and I’m a wee bit concerned about the connection time.

Ever So Proper But Not Helpful Agent: Confirmation number, please.

Me: Here it is.  It seems you changed the flight times between when I booked them and now and this is caused a tight connection.

ESPBNHA: Well, I here that the flights were changed in January (note: I found out about it in March!) and you have 38 minutes.  That is a legal connection time, so how can I help you?

Me: Um, I know you don’t know the gates yet, but if it is not possible for someone to get from one gate to the other one, what happens?

ESPBNHA: If we are late, then we will book you on the next flight.  But that flight isn’t for 6 more hours after this one.  That’s a LONG layover.

Me: Yes, I see that, hence the reason I was trying to avoid it.  But what about if the plane arrives on time and I can’t physically RUN from gate to gate?  I mean how far could it be, miles right?  Well, I’m out of shape and I can’t do wind sprints through the airport.  What then?

ESPBNHA: Do you want me to reserve the electronic cart for you?

Me: Um, NO.  I want to know that should you pull my first flight in at one end of the airport and expect me to sprint to the other to catch a flight, that IF I miss it, you will not just leave me there to find a new life in this city.

ESPBNHA: I’m not sure I understand what you want from me, but basically what you are asking about is up to the agent you deal with at the time.  Like if the plane is a few minutes late and you can’t make the flight, it might be one thing, but if the plane is 10 minutes late then it wouldn’t be a legal connection…

Me: I’m sorry to cut you off here, but all I really want to know before I put my luggage and life in your hands is that you are committed to making sure I get to my destination.  That I will not be left without a way to fly to my final destination if my son needs to use the potty in the middle of the sprint from one end of the airport to the other.

ESPBNHA: I wouldn’t stop.

Me: Ok, so you are saying that this airline would rather my child pee on their seats than me run the possibility that our running from one end of the airport to the other in seconds won’t get us to the flight on time? Alrighty then.

ESPBNHA: Well, I could give you a full refund for your tickets.

Me: And this would cause me not to miss the second flight how?

ESPBNHA: (Stunned silence)

Me: Do NOTHING.  SERIOUSLY nothing.  I will wing it so to speak.  If I miss my flight because of the tight connection time and the gates are too far apart, then I will beg another agent, whom I’m sure will be more understanding.  But thank you for time.

ESPBNHA: Have a great day.

(The worst part is that last bit, she had NO hint of sarcasm in her voice. It was like she truly didn’t get why I’d have the least bit of concern over 38 minutes in a large airport. But since I have nothing else to do, I think I’ll sit here and worry about it some more, k?)

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 24th, 2007 at 4:15 pm and is filed under The Queen. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.