Join Me in Snarkville

The saga of Frankenhouse and the garden continues.  In this week’s installment, I offer you the fact that we add to the ‘charms’ of this lovely, overgrown, rose bush (with all the thorns) blooming, pollen overload, hummingbird loving outdoor living area that we have moles.

Oh, yes, at least we think that they are moles.  I’m hoping for moles — not that it makes it any easier to get rid of them, but for some reason in my little brain moles are handleable and not nearly as gross and scary as say “sand burrowing mice,” ok? (more…)

So I guess I ought to do this one.  I was tagged by both Mama E and Niki to share 7 random things about me.  I’ve thought about this one for awhile — since I can’t seem to get through 100 things about me on the About page, you think the 7 might be easier, but alas, the whole blog is random stuff about myself, so now I’m asked for 7 more things — ok, here it goes. (more…)

I’ve tried all day to write my post.  Early this this morning, I sat with computer in my lap to type.  I was going to tell you about a conversation I had with Duke yesterday, but now it escapes me.  I was going to tell you about Duke, who is in LOVE with the idea of all things birthday, wouldn’t sing “Happy Birthday” to my dad on the phone.  I was going to tell you about how my sweet Duke grabbed my face the other morning and told me, “Mama, you’re my buddy” and I melted.  But I couldn’t seem to get the words typed right, there was something else I was meant to write today — but what? (more…)

I see in comments a few ideas, allow me to assure you that most of them have been considered and rejected for a number of reasons.

1. A compact fluorescent?  Oh yes that seems like a PERFECT idea.  Except it appears that the shape of the sconce and it’s size doesn’t allow for the slightly larger fluorescent bulb.  I’m assuming that the sconce is circa 1975 or maybe mid-80’s, but it is made for approzimately a bulb the size you put in your fridge or oven.

2. A suction cup on a stick?  Interesting idea, do they make them to grab bulbs that are upside down inside a sconce? I wish this was a can light at the top of the stairs, but alas it is not.  It is a real live sconce where you shove the bulb deep inside it.

3. A larger ladder?  That’s actually not the solution as we have a 20′ extension ladder.  The light is positioned directly above the 3rd and 4th steps (give ot take 20+ feet).  The right ladder for the job would be a ladder that is made for stairs, one where one leg can made longer than the other.  However, we go back to those ladders aren’t cheap and we don’t own this house. (more…)

Oh yes, today’s installment is brought to you by the letter q* and the on going theme in our house….”It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

*A direct result of WAY too much Sesame Street. (more…)

As naptime rolled around yesterday I was patting myself on the back and praising the fact that I’m a good mother and my son is a good son who makes choices and promptly laid down for his nap at 11:30am and was sound asleep shortly thereafter.

Then he woke up and I was slapped back into the reality that my near perfect morning was the exception that this child who was NOT the same one I put to bed for a nap is the reality. (more…)

Recently I was reading something and it hit me, it is no longer 2005.  I know that was 2 years ago, but for some odd reason, my brain advanced the year in all areas save one.  You see, if you asked me how old Duke was, I’d quickly rattle off “three and a half.”  However, if you’d asked me how long ago it was since I was pregnant, I’d say “oh, year before last.”  Does anyone else see the problem?

No, I was not in fact pregnant the year before last.  In fact, I’m closing in on FOUR years since I was pregnant and yet that part seems so recent.  It just doesn’t seem that long ago that I was wandering around the house on Mother’s Day 2003 insisting that Prince get me a present, since I was in fact a mother.  (His point was that it would be impossible for the child to sign even a card in his current position.)  Anyway…moving on.

I don’t understand how the brain works.  I don’t know why one part would allow me to know in a very real way that my little boy is growing up into a child (I’d have to be brain numb to miss the shoes alone — 4 sizes in ONE year, PLEASE).  But yet, I still very much feel like that new mommy who wakes up every morning and wonders if today is the day that the stars align for her to get both lunch AND a shower.

Maybe that’s the point, maybe despite the 1,300+ days I’ve been a mother, I still feel like I’m inventing the mothering wheel everyday.  I look out at the other mothers who seem to have it together and wonder if they still feel like they gave birth “the year before last.”  Every day, Duke provides me with two basic things:

1. Absolute awe that I have the single best gift who walks and talks and reasons and despite all of those things, thinks I’m an amazing mother.
2. Absolute fear that I’m going to be anything less than the best mother he could have.  That I’d fail to meet his needs, including the need to grow up and do things on his own.

But what is the weirdest part, the part that took my breath away when it dawned on me (seconds after I realized that no, I was not in fact pregnant in 2005) is that I am having an impossible time remembering a time without Duke.  Just like my dating life seems like a distant memory, my trips, my days, my life before Duke are hazy and fuzzy life photos of people you never met but are told are your “great-great-great-something.”

Yesterday morning, Duke, Prince and I snuggled in our bed.  We giggled and watched a little TV.  Duke shared his blanket with Prince and me.  I sniffed his hair and counted his toes.  All of us snuggled a little longer than usual.  We all were so thrilled to be back where we belonged and giggling together.  I got up and made pancakes while Prince ran out for much needed milk.  It was as perfect as it gets.

But as the day closed, I tried to remember the Saturday mornings before Duke.  The mornings where Prince and I would plan our day.  The mornings we’d go out to breakfast and spend a little longer over coffee.  And you know what?  I don’t remember those mornings as being nearly as much fun.

Yup, I’m a mother now.  I feel it in my very bones.  I am forever connected to another human being before whom I do not remember myself.

This year, this year, my son signed the card himself.  I am so proud. (And I got my shower too — so I think I’m ahead for the day.)

Happy Mother’s Day to all.  And most especially the Queen Mum, who is my inspiration as a mother.

I called Royal Caribbean’s lost and found line this morning.  I called and asked if anyone turned in a slightly used, but hopefully kinda cute, brain.  Because, um, I think I’m losing my mind.

First, I can not stop talking about the cruise, both cruises really.  The one I just got back from (and no for the record, because I’m up to my neck in work, I’ve not even unpacked yet — so if you want to take me on a trip, I can be packed in less than 5 minutes, just saying) or the one for next year.

Second, I am not unpacked yet.  Not at all.  This means that I’ve not done my laundry (the Queen Mum is having a small heart attack right no, please send flowers) and my son is picking out his clothes from the suitcase — they are CLEAN clothes from the suitcase, lest we all think I’d sunk to NEW depths.

Third, I have discovered that if I don’t write down what I’m supposed to be doing at this very moment, I will completely forget and get side tracked with one of the other nine billion things I need to do.  Like the laundry, the phone calls, the fact I need to go to the grocery store so my family might be able to eat this weekend.  You know the minor stuff.
Deep Breaths.

My day began yesterday at 1am PDT.  (because that truly sounds worse than the 4am EDT that my alarm went off.)  My day ended at 9:30pm PDT.  Yup. It was a long day and yup, I was pooped.

First off, if anyone doubted Duke’s true calling to be a world traveller, they would have screamed from the rooftops as to how wrong they were yesterday.  Yes, he’s an independent three (and a half) who wanted to put his shoes in his OWN tray.  But he confidently walked through security with the “You don’t want to check my empty milk cup” swagger.  He also was the talk of airports he was in — mostly because I’m a horrible mommy who makes him pull his own backpack, but still. (more…)

Wow am I tired. It isn’t like I’ve been doing much lately, but wow, that nothing has been pretty exhausting.

• Sea Socks has been a success. I am pretty sure that fun was had by all and I’m absolutely positive that there is are folks on the Vision of the Seas still shaking their heads over the shock that 89 knitters did NOT mean 89 little old ladies who were quiet and knitting baby booties. Instead, 89 knitters meant, karakoe singing, Cosmo drinking, rowdy bunch of ladies. To say that people were stunned is an understatement.
• I’ve been living on airplanes lately. Seriously, I’m so tired of taking my shoes off, unpacking my bag to go through security, waiting at the gate, sitting next to the cougher — you know the one, and wondering why the guy next to me ALWAYS seems to take up his seat AND half of mine.
• I’ve completed two PAIRS of socks during this trip.  Since I’ve been gone less than two weeks, I’ve been averaging a pair a week — which is rather shocking for me.  What really surprises me is that I finished them without feeling like I was ignoring everything around me.

So alas, I get on the last set of planes tomorrow and I’m ready to be home for a bit.  I’m also ready to figure out how I’m getting home from the airport — which of course is a minor detail I’ve completely left until the very last minute.