Finding Joy in Snarkville

Sidenote the first, I did take a very shaky (I was trying so hard to be quiet, but couldn’t control my shutters of laughter) video of the first 30 minutes of her talk (I would have gotten the whole thing, but there was a technical difficulty (I ran out of tape) and I promise to get it uploaded somewhere, somehow, some time. But until then, you will have to live with my feeble summary.

Sidenote the second, I’m working on adding links and photos — a bold word is either a link or a photo — CLICK. Also, I’m trying to update this with more as I think of things — and clean up my words a bit — so please don’t correct my spelling or grammar anytime soon, deal?

I am, at my core, fiercely competitive. Did anyone else notice this? Well, as I went to bed before the event, I could not imagine that anyone would get in line BEFORE me. I had been half-hatching a plan, but I knew I was going to need to get serious. So, after bathing and putting on make-up (never know if my photo might appear on her blog), I began to pack up. First, I would need my knitting bag. I would be there awhile and thus need something to entertain me, I brought a second sock and a felted handbag (that is still in yarn). I also tucked in a few recently finished projects to show off. Second, I wanted to bring a gift for Ms. Harlot, so I packed up a project bag from Sea Socks ‘07 with some of Mama E’s Handpaint, a small notebook/pen, and about 5 or 7 measuring tapes, because I know she says she looses them all the time. Then, I packed my handbag, wallet, phone, iPod, camera, and video camera. I packed the car with two folding chairs (one for me and one to share if needed). Ok, I think I’m ready and it is 9am!

What I failed to pack was any food whatsoever. No water. No snacks. I figured I would be in downtown and there was a bevy of places to grab a bite, but HOW the heck was I going to do that and stay in line NEVER crossed my mind.

I loaded the car (I was going to take the Vespa, but I really had too many bags (and chairs) and I’m not highly comfortable on the Vespa at night — thus, I took the car. I drive into town and past the bookstore to check the line. No line — because seriously, WHO is nuts to go standing in line for any author nearly 12 hours BEFORE the event? Ahem, look something shiny. I parked the car. I checked my e-mail on my cool phone and I read from Alison: “Wild horses wouldn’t stop me from putting my book in my bag, you bring the photos, I’ll bring the book.” Poop, I’d promised to bring photos of Duke to show her and she was bringing her book — due out in a WEEK. Deep breaths. “Queen, there is NO line, there is plenty of parking, drive home, get the photos.” And that’s what I did. I didn’t not get the same awesome parking spot I’d left, but still, I’m not one to disappoint Alison.

It is now 10am, when I take a walk through the bookstore. I pick up my required copy for an advanced ticket (I have a ticket and I’m standing in a line, I’m creating at 10am. Who am I again?) I decide that they haven’t even cleared enough space for the chairs yet, and as such, I’ve figured out where it will be held and and I parked myself in a chair in that area. (I will have it known, that I did find a chair where I could neither see the door nor the front desk in hopes of not being asked to leave.) I sat, listened to my book an knitted my sock.

At noon, (still no one else has shown up) I risked leaving the bookstore to go have lunch with Ms. Crafty. We go to a “Ladies Tea Place” and we couldn’t have enjoyed enjoyed being snarky more. After we got over the idea of getting the children’s tea, because it came with hats and necklaces — um, Meredith wasn’t sure she wanted it if she couldn’t keep the hat and necklace. We told them we were running tight on time and it still was nearly 2 hours. Oh my.

My heart hurt as I walked back to the bookstore. Would there be ANYONE in front of me — after all I’d been there so long this morning, that it would have seemed a waste if I couldn’t still be first. I got back to the store and I see this sign in front. I look to my left and I see NO ONE. I’m first! (and I got lunch)! I set my stuff down and stood there to knit a bit. At no point in this did I feel weird or like I might be a bit odd. I stood, I knit, I waited, I mentally calculated the time — “Doors open at 5pm, it is 2pm, I’ve got potentially 3 hours of standing — perhaps I should get my chair.” About the time I thought this, a car pulled up and unloaded a ‘whack’ of knitters. I knew I was not leaving my spot for the world at this point.

I knitted, I listened, I stood. A man stops in front of me and says, “I’ve never seen anyone stand on the street and knit.” I thought to myself, “Dude, just wait.” But I was nice enough to smile and nod. Then I look up and see Alison and entrourage (who turned out to be the fabulous Jasmin and Nancy).

We feed Alison and I return to Barb and her boys joining us (Nancy held our space in the line and babysat my knitting bag). Back with about an hour left to wait, we traded off keeping Alison company inside, eating, and hanging out. Then at 5pm, we were allowed in.

Front ROW. Front Row. Yes, at that single moment it was 100% worth it. The all day of waiting, knowing I was in front row, sitting next to Alison, waiting on the Harlot — Oh my. I took a few down on a little trip to Knitterly (no purchases).

Then it happened. Stephanie took the stage (actually standing on a soapbox — um, she’s a little short). And I was ever thankful that I’d peed. Seriously, she has three things going for her — a wicked sense of humor, the ability to crack her voice in all the right places (seriously I had found it impossible to tell if her voice was cracking because of her nerves or because she’s an amazing actress), and finally, she’s got great patience).

She spoke, She signed books, She let me gush a little and humored me while I talked a mile a minute and she smiled., and she was STILL signing books at 10:30pm. She was on a plane at 6am this morning and the ladies in Portland are in for an amazing experience.

Finally, a list of things you will be surprised to learn about yesterday:

1. I did not inappropriately hug Stephanie. Shocking I know, but I was good and mostly kept my hands to myself. I did however, at one point reach out and grab her hand.
2. I offered to teach a VERY nice events lady at the bookstore to knit socks (she crochets) and I’m not a very good teacher, but I think we might have a little fun.
3. I may be best remembered by telling total strangers that they may pet me.
4. I totally forgot to eat dinner. See that little note where I had no snacks with me, this left me to eat bread in the middle of the street with Alison before grabbing a “shot” of water.
5. Alison is also prepared for anything — she was passing out finger puppets to the kids. Barb’s kid put on one heck of a puppet show.
6. There were photos I meant to get but didn’t: a photo of me WITH Alison, a photo of me WITH Stephanie, a photo of Alison WITH her book, a photo of me with ‘the traveling sock’ — I sort of suck….but I was there. I made Stephanie laugh and felt connected to thousands and thousands of knitters (and an Aussie sheep shearer named Nick — who is, for what it is worth, shirtless).
7. I learned that the only other author who drew this kind of crowd so early was George Carlin — I think that means Stephanie is in good company.
8. Finally, I learned that you can make a knitter of some husbands by leaving a Yarn Harlot book in the bathroom. Sidenote: Stephanie says that whenever she wants Joe (her husband) to read something, she takes everything out of the bathroom except that and it works everytime. When I try it, Prince just keeps bringing his OWN reading material.

Yes, a good time was had by all. I stumbled in the door at 11pm — later than I expected and much later than I thought it was. I’m still processing through the events of last night — it is a lot blurry in my mind. I am blocking the shawl I finished, I may have promised a friend a baby hat for charity, and I’m counting the days until the book signing at Marin Fiber Arts for Alison’s book. Oh, and I began the second sock of my rainbow socks and I’m in the ankle decreases in the first day.

This entry was posted on Friday, June 8th, 2007 at 11:23 am and is filed under Be Smarter than the String. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.