Join Me in Snarkville

The airlines are a tricky, tricky lot.  Don’t trust their wily ways…

Tonight, I just attempted to purchase THREE tickets for a one-way flight (because seriously when did it become all cheaper to buy two one way tickets than an actual roundtrip ticket.  Because somehowme having TWO confirmation numbers, TWO pieces of paper, and the greater potential to lose something, makes my bank account retain the actual $4.35 I like to save….yes, I’m cheap, sue me.)  Anyway, back to my THREE one way tickets.

First, I go to my favorite site (www.kayak.com) to check on fares.  I cussed because the flights went up in price $20 since I checked it this morning (when my credit card was WAY over there across the room from where I am — yes, I’m lazy AND cheap,  one sometimes loses).  I bought ticket number one (that would be the first one way ticket for THREE).  It was a remarkably unremarkable experience where I got to type my credit card ONCE and shockingly got a single confirmation number for three people to board an aircraft.  This was the end of the ease.

Next, I went to airline site number two to purchase my one way ticket home (again for THREE people).  I happen to plug in the date, the airports, and not thinking, I clicked “1″ ticket.  I got a price.  I went back in to correct the number of tickets I needed and changed it to “3″ (because I’m wild like that) and then I got another price.  This other price was $50 per ticket MORE than if I bought a single ticket.  Back the truck up, people.  Oh, now I’m all cheap, lazy, and indignant.  So, I pick up the phone and try to call a human.  I find out that they have 2 tickets at that GOOD price and I’d have to do two transactions to get any tickets at a lower price.  I shake my head to try to make this make sense.  If the next option for an airline wasn’t $70 more than the good price, I would have said “screw this” and given my money to another fine airline before I paid $50 more to sit in the same row with my family. (seriously, I might have paid $50 more to sit with someone else’s family — but mine?  I kid, sort of, I kid.)

So, I process the first two tickets at the good price.  I get to thinking, hmmm….I wonder.  I go back to Kayak.com and I search for my flight and my single ticket — wanna guess how much I paid?  go on, guess.  Oh, yes — I paid the GOOD price.  For the luxury of having TWO confirmation numbers (and three phone calls to the airline*) I got three tickets on the same plane, at the same time, for the SAME price.

*Yes, I said three.  One to find out there were only 2 tickets left at the good price.  One to call back and find the person to complain to about person #1’s sparkling personality**.  One to actually level the complaint.

** For the record, I never believe the “I’m a supervisor and there’s no one above me” line.  And ahem, I called and found out that when I asked for your supervisor you should have sent me to person 3 and saved me the trouble of the two other calls.