Join Me in Snarkville

(Warning: knitting and yarn content to follow. I know a few of you, (db, I’m looking at you) dislike this, so you may skip this entry. Otherwise, knitters and dyers enjoy.)

Yesterday, I spent the day with the Minons of the Pointy Sticks (I think there is a blog — but I need someone to send me a linky) in a dye-ing frenzy. Oh my word. There are a few things you need to know about this group:

• You can not be shy. Sorry, shyness is not allowed. If you want something to drink, you get it. If you think of something witty to say, interrupt someone and say it. If you like a skein of yarn, ASK for it, nay, demand it. (Perhaps threatening to steal or move the owner’s cabin to the engine room helps.)
• These ladies know their toys. There were squeals of glee over new wheels — which I freely admit that I’m not worthy because I don’t spin (yet).
• A few of this pack are going on Sea Socks ‘08. I have a feeling that I need to warn Celebrity — there is going to be a bar that will never be the same again.

Ok, on to the day. I arrived at 11am (after a brief tour of South, South Snarkville — because I got lost). The first thing that hit me, was perhaps I wouldn’t be allowed to stay — I wasn’t driving a Prius. Oh, my — remember that there was once a shortage of those cars? I know where they ALL live.

Jasmin tells me I was early and I meet her puppies, nearly walk in on her showering husband (way to introduce myself), and get a tour of the upscale Shanty they just bought. And then we chatted and waited for the minions to arrive. (note to self: when visiting the minions, you can be late — it is ok.)

Jasmin’s husband, who I did NOT walk in on while he was showering (something ALL of us are happy about), ran out and provided me (I say me, because I’m rather sure I’d eaten most of them) doughnuts. Jasmin made coffee. I knit for a bit; we chatted; I kept wondering when the dyeing would begin.

About 1pm, we started to move outside to begin the dye process. We heated water, we squeezed skeins, we chatted more. I may have told one or more ladies to “step off” in my oh, so, nice way (because I’m good with new people that way). We laughed and people seemed to enjoy the comedy that is me in a social setting. Then it happened. Dye was thrown into a pot (ok, in full fairness, I was SO anxious it was my dye for the one thing I was 100% sure I knew what I wanted). I took my 6 skeins (it is for a sweater, yes, Niki, that sweater I’ve wanted to make since forever — that cardigan) and dumped them into the dye pot. Silence. Every minion there gathered around the pot. Shhh. Don’t talk loudly the wool might not like that. Shh. Then in the back (as I was stirring the pot — GENTLY) I hear, “WWWWWOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW” Then was a small squeal of glee. I finally opened my eyes to see it. What I had hoped would be a faded denimy blue was this perfect shade of blue. Not too dark like navy and not too light like baby; not even the sky blue on the label — but perfect. I let it soak. It was perfection in a pot.

That seemed to get people excited and pots filled with dye and I watched skein after skein get colored. Then was a moment with a pumpkin color that still makes me weak in the knees when I think about it (fortunately that skein is in my shower drying). Then we began to paint. I laid out a skein of lace weight. I painted with the colors of fall, red, orange, gold, olive. I smooshed. I oohhed and ahhed over it. (The minions seemed to like it too.) I failed to vinegar it quickly solved in my microwve a home when I rinsed it and steamed it with vinegar). I then was sadly out of yarn.

I dyed other peoples skeins — I even got to dye Jasmin’s handspun silk. Which frankly, I think I should be rewarded for not tucking in my bag when I left — It was pretty. I dyed more lace weight — at which point I instantly declared I was taking that skein. I don’t recall giving her a choice, poor Colleen is lighter one skein of yarn — opps. (This is why I probably shouldn’t be allowed to meet new people.)

Then, I get all fuzzy. There was a massage (which um, Donna, will you marry me? I kid, but you are amazing) and then I had to leave. The minions were teasing me because I left for the drinks got pouring, but seriously, I had a long drive home and I’m pretty sure Prince was done. So, I brought Chinese food home with me and bribed my boys to love me again.

Finally, I hung up my skeins (and one stolen) in my shower to prevent cat play and allow for drying. I promise photos when the skeins are dry.

So, to sum-up:

• I had a blast.
• The lock on the bathroom door doesn’t work — so there was a necktie “occupied” sign. Somehow that was both fitting and totally normal. I love these women.
• I was still my socially awkward self — but I think (unless the minions are good at covering it up) they might like me a little.
• I’m totally excited about the cruise — and a little scared for the ‘other’ people on the ship.
• Colleen, I’m totally sorry for demanding your yarn, I want to blame the wool/silk/fiber fumes — you were there too — Jasmin’s house is lousy with the fumes. I’m shocked you gave in so easily, it means you are a better person than me.
• And finally, Jasmin, thank you for hosting such an amazing event. I so wish I could have stayed longer — next time I will arrive later and stay longer, promise. Oh, and I know where you live and where the yarn is — perhaps if you give up the silk skein quietly and gently, so harm will come to any other stash (I kid, mostly — ok, so really not so much — can I offer you something for it?)

And to all the minions out there — I have 2 questions for you — when do you want to make the journey to Snarkville? And when are we doing this again — ’cause I’m coming back….unless you totally forget my e-mail address and never invite me again (and that might only slow me down).