Join Me in Snarkville

In some families, major holidays are a time to gather together and enjoy each other.  Other families get to watch Uncle Joe get drunk and wonder how many fights they can have around the table.  And then there is the Royal Family.  We, not wanting to conform to an norms, try to add spice to our Thanksgiving in so many other special ways.  Allow me to review the PERFECT recipe for Thanksgiving:

Take 1 boy child and give him a fever from unknown origin for the two days prior to Thanksgiving.

Take one mother who has been taking care of boy child for two days and not let her prepare a single leftover for Thanksgiving.

Give the mother ONE shot at the grocery store after 5pm on Wednesday evening, without a list just to make things fun.

Decide at 2pm on Thanksgiving Day that we MUST go to Thanksgiving dinner NOW — but we are going out, because there is no way we possibly cook.

Get all the way through the meal and take first bite of the one food the mother has been craving for three days (pumpkin pie) only to have boy child throw up at the table.  (We are a delight, please invite us to your next meal.)  Add to our joy, no clean clothes and nothing really to clean him up.

Take boy child home and talk him into taking his first shower.  Watch a two day long marathon of Curious George.  Have leftover Chinese Food for dinner.

On Black Friday, decide that there is ONE thing you need from Target, take now low grade fever boy to Target with you (even though it is a present for him) because husband must work.  Find out that the item is the only item that Target is sold out of.  Go home and order online.

Get up Saturday morning, tired and cranky.  Run out to pick up bagels — because you refuse to make pancakes for the 5th morning in a row.

As of this typing, I’ve not made a single Thanksgiving item that I wanted to make — frankly, if I go to bed tonight without green bean casserole there will be a major meltdown.  I have a pumpkin pie to make — because after the puking, I couldn’t finish my pie.

Before you go feeling too bad for me, my family had the PERFECT Thanksgiving on the 11th with the Queen Mum and Dad — complete with green bean casserole, though sadly no pumpkin pie.