Join Me in Snarkville

Sorry, but today is New Year’s Eve and I’ve got a ton of stuff to do before the year flips to 2008.  Oh, my word, I can’t believe it is 2008 — exactly where did the 90’s go?  How is it that we are 8 years into the 2000’s and I’m not really ready to let go of the 90’s?  Seriously, this is like those people who still dress like it is the 70’s — oh, wait, that’s supposed to be fashionable.  Opps, must have missed that one.

Ok, back to the story… (which isn’t totally *my* story, but since Prince isn’t updating his blog much these days….alas).  A few months ago, Duke has taken to calling Prince by Prince’s name.  It is often in a sentence like, “I call you Prince.”  “Hey, Prince!!!!”  It was a little funny at first.  Ok, so when he did it when Prince picks him up from school (because every kid in the class screams when Prince shows up and they all scream, “Hey, PRINCE.”) and the teachers think this is REALLY funny and laugh and thus, it stuck and Prince really HATES it.

*Sidenote:  I was raised that you called adults Mr./Mrs. Lastname when you were a kid.  There was no questioning this.  Even when I was in my 20’s I still called a few adults (ok, people my parents’ age) by their lastnames.  This practice has seemed to go away with the caveman (and perhaps the neighbor mom telling a child who is misbehaving or being dangerous that she will be speaking with the child’s parents — thus imparting the fear and wrath of parental anger) and this saddens me.  It was a great day when I grew up enough to call my fellow adults by their first names and still I show the respect to the elder generation by calling them by their lastnames.  I think it teaches kids that we are NOT equals — because, um, I’m an adult and you are a child and despite what you will think from age 10 to 25ish, you aren’t grown yet.  I believe it teaches respect and that is something we seem to be lacking a lot of these days — respect.  Finally, I think it is dang cute.  There is nothing as sweet as a small child calling an adult Mr. Lastname.  But I get that my ways are dying, but I’m trying to hold on.  I’ve decided that for my child, he will be taught that all adults do get the respectful addition of Mr./Mrs./Miss to their name — even if it is their first name.  So, yesterday, when Duke asked me who Daddy was talking on the phone to, I said, “Mr. Don” And then Duke SCREAMED to say hi to Mr. Don.  That was pretty dang adorable.  I don’t know if Mr. Don knows that we insist on the Mr. to teach respect or if Mr. Don appreciated, but I firmly believe that we are confirming a valuable lesson in respecting elders.  So there.  <sidenote ended; soapbox put away>

So, it pained me that Duke was doing this to his Daddy, when he also wasn’t doing it to me.  I blamed myself for a bit because I don’t ALWAYS call Prince “Daddy” in front of Duke, so maybe I was to blame.  (I’m mostly over it now.)  But everytime I’d watch Prince’s face wince when he heard it.  We tried everything, arguing, ignoring it, even telling him that “Daddy” was a special name and he was the ONLY kid in the whole world who could call his Dad “Daddy”.  It all worked for sorted periods of time and then the “Prince” thing would start up again.

Well, this past weekend, Duke decided to try to start on me.  The problem is, I don’t think Duke has a clue what my name is.  First, for reasons I don’t fully think I can explain, few people call me by my name (ok, so it perhaps could be the whole nickname fear that I will jump down their throat if they screw it up OR it could be that I go back and forth between my given name and my preferred nickname rather often and while I will answer to either of those, it just seems easier to catch my eye and start talking.)  Second, Mama doesn’t stand for that stuff.  So, Duke is trying to call me “Ryan” — um, NOT my name.  Yes, I’m serious, he says, “I call you Ryan, Mom.”  “Um, Dude, no you don’t.”  It isn’t going over well.

Then, after the Ryan thing for a bit, he turns to Prince and says, “I call you Prince.”  I’d had ENOUGH.  I looked at Duke and said, “Duke, you can pick whatever you want to call your dad.  You can call him Dad, Daddy, Papa, Pop {Prince CRINGED}, Father, or Pa; for all either of us cares.  But he {pointing} is your dad and when you call him any of those names you are telling him ‘I love you’ and that’s just between you and him.”  Duke looked from me to Prince.  From Prince to me and says, “I call you Fahder.”  I said, “Ok, then that is what you will call him.  Enough with anything else, because from this point forward, Father is his special name and it means ‘I love you.’”

Duke runs off to play.  HOURS go by.  Duke walks in and looks at Prince and says, “Hi, Fahder, Daddy.”  I melted and Prince rolled his eyes.

I HOPE Prince likes “Fahder” better than his son calling him by his first name — but the best thing is I think Duke got it (maybe) that Father/Daddy whatever isn’t the same as just adding Mr/Miss to a first name — that just says, ‘I respect you as my elder.’  But to be able to say ‘I love you’ even when he’s 15 and that will be so uncool — he will always be able to call his dad “father” and we will know what he means.

(Oh and since I’m at it and all teary anyway — Queen Mum, I’m REALLY sorry for that period of time I did all of this to you.  Yes, I remember it, even though I think I was 5.)