Finding Joy in Snarkville

Ok, ok…so sleeping may have been too much to ask for last night, what with my need for nightly sleep and you know 3+ months of not getting it.  So, yes, I had to pry my eyes open this morning and beg to anyone who cared to “not anger the mother, she’s on thin ice today.”

In fact, Duke crawled into bed this morning and hugged me with a HUGE “HAPPY VALENTINE’s DAY!!!” which melted my cold, dead heart right there. 

The thing is that Prince and I don’t do Valentine’s Day.  Yes, I could get on my high horse and discuss how annoying it is to have a Hallmark holiday, but frankly, the reason we don’t do it is that we are lazy.  We just are finally coming down from the Christmas/New Year’s/Birthday holidays and now is just not the time to add another card (or oh, my MORE chocolate) to our lives.  So, we agreed when we first married (nope, dating — though he was guilted into one Valentine’s gift and that may have started the whole — when we say we aren’t doing something, you may not change the rules Rule) that we don’t do Valentine’s Day.

(Sidenote:  It is always most fun to hear the guys in Prince’s office tell him “oh, you are going to be in trouble because you didn’t get her anything for Valentine’s Day.”  Only to know he shot back, “Nope, she’d be more upset with me if I did something, so I think I’ll stay out of the doghouse today and not buy her anything.  Nope, not even a card.  No, I don’t even wish her a Happy Valentine’s Day either.  Yes, you are jealous…not everyone can have the uber-cool wife I have.”  Ok, so I just add that last part in myself — but you get my point.  And yes, he pretty much has this conversation yearly, which amuses me to no end.  I also used to thrill when I’d be asked what I got from co-workers and say, “Nothing.  Just what I wanted.” or “Oh, we don’t do Valentine’s Day — it brings up really bad memories for Prince.  He stubbed his toe once on Valentine’s Day and frankly, we can’t talk about it.”  So, um, yes….I’m sick, whatever.)

Last night, Duke and I had the joy of packing up his school Valentine’s.  Talk about bringing back bad memories.  Duke is at the age where it is slowly dawning on him that he doesn’t have to like everyone in his class. (To be fair, his class ranges in age from the newly/nearly 3 year olds through the over 5 set — so that has something to do with this.)  So, as we packed up the bags we talked about giving the bags to all the people in his class.(Yes, I’m horrible and don’t just do the little cards, because frankly WHY?  This age group can’t read, they don’t get the stupid joke on the 2″x3″ piece of paper.  They want STUFF, preferably candy.  So, I found the dollar bin for treat bags at Target and bought a bunch of silly but cute things — including temporary tattoos.  Last year we gave playdough, so we are really moving up in the world.  He was helping me by putting one of each of the items in each bag and did a great job.  I double checked later and tied each of them up with a bow.  Duke was proud and I was proud of the way they came out.)  Duke had decided that he only wanted to give bags to his friends and some of the kids in his class were not his friends (which is just like 4th Grade when some twerp who I can’t remember and thus had no bearing on my adult life told me as he — or maybe she, who can remember this — was dropping obligatory Valentine in my box that he/she was only doing this because they had to and not because he/she really meant it.  Maybe I’ll explore in therapy if this and not Prince’s fabled stubbed toe is the reason we don’t do Valentine’s Day.  But alas, not today).  Oh, my…mommy moment coming… I can feel it.

So, I stopped and asked him why these other kids weren’t his friends.  He listed off a list of injustices, most of which he was guilty of himself.  I smiled and reminded him of this little missed fact and added…”you know sometimes we just have to give everyone something because we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  How would you feel if someone didn’t want to give you a Valentine?” small voice: “Bad” Mommy: “Then let’s give everyone a bag and no one feels bad, ok?” small voice: “ok”

Then he perks up and asks, “Mama, you give Daddy Valentine?”

Um…Um…Look kid, something shiny.

(Actually, this year I did.  I gave Prince a bag of red velvet cupcake mix with cream cheese frosting.  And I gave myself the left over Fun Dips from Duke’s treat bags and a rug for my office.)

Happy Valentine’s Day (or as we say in my family — Happy Valentime’s Day) to those who celebrate.  For those who like me, think pink and red clash no matter the day of the year — “It is almost Friday!!”

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 14th, 2008 at 9:42 am and is filed under Motherhood isn't for wimps. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.