Join Me in Snarkville

Today, I’m flooded with all sorts of emotions.  Today is the beginning and ending and I can’t help but feel like both the rug has been pulled out from beneath me and excited about the new horizon I’m facing.  But before I get into all of that fun a flash forward to Duke the teenager:

I had some errands to do after school today.  The first was to the office supply place in which I denied my child an “Easy Button” (hateful I know).  The next was to pick up Prince’s winnings at the bowling alley for the season.  At the stop, Duke really wanted to bowl, but alas, only the big kids were bowling and I couldn’t let him play around.  So, after I grabbed the money and made a run for the door — I hear Duke saying LOUDLY, “I want to go bowling.” (Me: “Not tonight, honey, I can’t let you.”) Him: “You never let me do anything.”

Get used to it, Buddy, I think your teen years are going to be hard on all of us.

especially when you don’t fall asleep until 2am.  URGH, how I hate that.

Yes, I tried to go to sleep earlier — In fact, I was blurry with sleep from 10pm forward.  I could not push mysef over into the world of sleep.  And I blame this bird. (more…)

Of all the things I feel I must share, not a single one of them is worthy of its own post.  So, you get the joys of yet another totally random post filled with the bits of our lives that amuse me. (more…)

Did anyone see it?  Good glad to know you all missed it.  It seems that if you don’t renew your domain name, your site goes dead, who knew?  Actually, I knew it was coming due, but where I bought the domain name from sends me no fewer 1BILLION e-mails regarding the subject starting about 3 months ago and I became immune to their annoyances.  Thus, I waited until the day I expired…opps.  But I’m back and no harm, no foul, right?  Good. (more…)

Dear Snarkville Cats,

I realize that you outnumber the humans in this house, but we need to sit down and get some rules that shall be followed from this point forward.  Failure to follow my simple rules will result in the removable of all kibble and perhaps your fur coated body from my presence instantly.  Remember that despite what your feline brain tells you, you indeed live here at my whim and I do not exist to merely serve you.

1.  There is NO appropriate time for you to lay across my neck.  No, not even then. Or then.  In fact, if I’m horizontal, you are absolutely NOT to lay across my neck and PURR loudly.
2. My toes, under my blankets, are attached to me and are not in fact devious mice like creatures that must be hunted and pounced on at anytime, most especially at 3am.
3. When I have a laptop in my lap, this is NOT the time to decide I’m lonely and need your company.  I do not wish to have you standing on my lap between me and my laptop.  In addition, when you do find the appropriate times to come to my lap, kindly take a seat and do not stand there with 14 billion times your body weight pushing down on all four of your paws at once.
4. If I put you out of my lap, this is not a game in which I’m asking you to keep coming back.  I put you on the floor for a reason (most likely to grab my laptop again) and I don’t want you to return just yet.
5. Feeding time in at 10pm at night.  Not at 3, 4, or even 5am.  No, I’m not getting out of bed because you are pawing at me for an hour in the early am.  If another cat in this house ate your food, learn from it and eat when the food is put down.
6. If my hands are outside of my blanket, this is not an invitation for me to pet you.  No, not even if you are kind enough to push, forcefully, your head under my hand.  If I am asleep, I do not wish to be woken up to your attempts to STEAL petting from me while I sleep.
7. Speaking of sleeping, when I’m on my stomach, my lower back is NOT a bathing location.  EVER.  You are not to crawl up and sit/lay/lounge in the small of my back and bathe LOUDLY.
8. You are also not to grump when I roll over to get you out of the small of my back.
9. You are NOT to puke on my bed.  ’nuff said.
10. Duke wants to play with you and he has learned to be gentle.  Please forgive him past tail pulling and get over it already.  The looks of “when is this thing going away” don’t work on me and I will be happy to hold you down for some 4 year old to pet you.
11. I know your schedules during the day is tough — what with the sleeping, puking and shedding thing needed to be done.  Please do us all a favor and pick up after yourself.  After you move my shoes around because you MUST put your face in them, could you put them back where you found them.  After you play for hours with some random lego piece/marble/Duke toy, please return it to his room where he can step on it and not me.  I’d be happier if you’d clean up the puke and the hair bunnies — but alas, I know when I’m asking for the moon.

Finally, this is *MY*  house and I let you live here.  Should you wish to continue to enjoy my good graces, you need to follow my rules to the letter.  I shall post them for your review at each of the litter boxes, as I know you’d prefer to have something to read as opposed to that pesky covering thing.  (Speaking of which, whichever one of you spends more than 4 minutes covering your work, please use the downstairs box so i don’t hear it at 2am.)

Yours,

The Management

If I could write sonnets, I would. If I had more money I’d donate it to him. If I didn’t think I’d scare him, I’d hug him. But alas, I thanked him tons and paid for my haircut and promised photos from the cruise.

So, you ought to know the before: The Before

Then there is the after: The After

A few more photos on at Flickr, in case you need better views.

Reactions thus far:

Prince: Love the color, that looks great — would like it a bit longer, though.

Duke: Mama, you cut your hair. (yes, I did, what do you think)  I think it is silly.  (Does that mean you like it?) Yes!!!

Queen Mum:  Isn’t that the haircut I gave you about age 10?  See I was right then too.  (Um, yes — fine — but that time you kept trying to making it even was another story entirely — feel better?)

Oh yes, it is “haircut day.”  I freely admit that I’m thrilled and excited and a little scared.

No, I have no idea what it will be when I’m done.  I’m throwing myself on the mercy of “My Guy” and hoping for the best.  When I called, I may have started with “We need to talk”  which could be good or bad, but fortunately, I firmly believe that my guy gets me.  I know he’ll understand when I say I want something fun and funky, that I don’t mean a mohawk in blue.  I’m fairly certain that when I say, I want to not have to fuss with it much, that I don’t mean, “I want it to look like I rolled out of bed” and mostly, when I say, “Just make me look good”  he knows that the style can not involve more than 10 minutes total fuss time.

So, I head off today, looking forward to my new style — which I’m 60% sure will be my old style in 2 weeks — because I’m not so good with new tricks.  I’m fairly certain that the gray is getting hidden.  Hopefully photos will appear tomorrow, if I’m not wearing a hat for a bit.

I spent most of the day yesterday having flashbacks to high school detention. You see, I had traffic school* yesterday. Let me say that again, I had 8 hours of traffic school are really 6 hours and 40 minutes of instruction. Wait, instruction? I was supposed to be instructed on something? (more…)

I need to know who you would think is still standing (and napless) today?

1. A 35 year old who was up past his bedtime two nights straight.  The first of these was at a formal event and the second was to pick someone up at the airport at 11:10pm and he arrived home at 2am.  Factor into this that he also got a nap yesterday prior to the late night pick up of a few hours (presumably to pre-sleep).  He was up and out the door for work at 6:30am this morning.  He is bleary-eyed and a bit grumpy.  In addition, the person he picked up had the joys of a lost/delayed bag that will not be delivered until after 6pm (window is actually 6pm to 10pm) tonight — at which point he will be taking it from our home to the guy he picked up.
2. A 34 year old female.  She was up late for the formal event too — after which she was not able to sleep well and woke up hourly until the alarm went off at 6am.  In addition, she had spent the day prior to the formal thing cleaning the house.  She worked all day yesterday, went to knit night and left early.  Tired from the lack of sleep, she tried to go to sleep when the guy above left to the airport.  She thought she’d sleep.  But no, she napped for about an hour and then woke up to wait for him to return.  She was wide awake at 2am when he returned and slept fitfully until the alarm again.  (We don’t like that alarm anymore.)  She walked 2 miles and played at the playground.
3. A 4 year old boy.  He stayed up late with a sitter — who he LOVED.  He had run around like a banshee while the sitter was here then was up about an hour late.  He went to school and played hard all day the next day.  He was still awake at 9pm (which is 2 hours after bedtime) when the knitter came home.  He was up at 6:30am and playing.  He went on a mile tricycle ride to the park and played for an hour and rode a mile back.  (more…)

And I was sad.  I’m sure Karen would have been delightful as Prince’s wife for th evening, but sadly she couldn’t make it and I was then required to sort out my hair AND dress up.  The evening was nice, if not a wee bit long and drawn out.  I’ve had a whole 5 hours of sleep and thus I shall give you my thoughts and suggestions from last night. (more…)