Finding Joy in Snarkville

Proof #1:

If you happen to be standing in a line (let’s say a grocery line) that has a balloon tied to it and there may be something close to 5 children under 7 in line, the cashier from three lines over has NO right to seize the last balloon and not call for more to be made.  In addition, the lady in the line I was standing in only was able to check out TWO people in the time the guy next to her checked out 7 (yes, I counted) but we were only in that line because it held the promise of a balloon — a balloon that, as Duke sees it, was ripped out of his waiting hands by the cruel inhuman cashier.  Fortunately there was another cashier (not *MY* horribly slow, not very bright, and incapable of doing two things at once — like counting single dollar bills), saw a kid in his line and called for more.  The mom of that kid, who’d seen my child, who was kind enough only to ask LOUDLY, where that guy was taking the balloon, gave the nice cashier the heads up for the need of another balloon.  The fact that we had to wait for it is merely a secondary joy.

Now the balloon, that balloon that we had to have, floats ignored in my kitchen.

Proof #2:

Picture it, I’m walking down the LARGE center aisle of store, say Target — just for example.  I’m walking appropriately on the right, but sort of in the middle, because they are restocking and taking up the right side of things.  Out of nowhere, ok, truly from the aisle I’m about to pass, this woman (who frankly looked like she was overdue for her methadone treatment) comes barrelling out of her aisle and cuts me off.  I stop and give the appropriate “You aren’t authorized to drive that cart” look.  She looked right at me (or through me, who knows) and kept on going.  OK, strike one.  Then she pulled to the absolute center of the big aisle allowing no one to be able to pass her (on coming traffic really liked this move) and then pulls a HARD right directly in front of me again.  I repeated the LOOK.  She then says (as if she’s a ditz, but frankly isn’t pretty enough to pull it off) “Oh, I keep pulling out in front of you.”  I’m speechless, mostly because what I want to say isn’t fit for my Duke to hear.  However, Duke can always be counted on, “Mama, why does that man keep making you stop?”  “Buddy, I don’t think they know where they are going.”  “Oh, there’s a map, right?”

I do love that kid.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008 at 4:25 pm and is filed under Snark for Snarky Sake. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.