Birthday Week Cometh
Yes, my birthday is less than a week away and for the first time in a long time, I’m not all giddy about it. Frankly, (and I do hope this isn’t a sign of growing up) I’m sort of not all that interested this year.
Oh sure, I told myself that since I’m going away soon, I’m postponing my celebration. (Oh, how I hope that is the case.) But as my brithday is fast approaching, I’m realizing how few times I’ve mentioned it.
(At exactly this point, Prince is kicking himself for even bothering to buy me a gift. He’s thinking to himself, “I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t with this woman, someone shoot her and put her out of my misery.” He also might be thinking I’m using too many parenthesis.)
I woke up Wednesday morning and realized that I’m going to be 35 in less than a week and I’m not ready. No seriously, I’m not ready to be 35 yet. There is so much more I have to do before I turn 35. Since naturally, being in one’s mid-30’s means I should have finally pulled it all together and stop living like at 20 year old, right? Of course, right.
The problem is I still do live like a 20 year old*. For example, I make convenience foods. (There are days it is sheer force of will that I don’t live on Brown Sugar Pop-Tarts — ok, as I’ve aged, they give me heartburn, but that’s only a secondary reason for my not buying them.) (Oh, my word, I just talked about heartburn, I’m getting OLD people.) I thought by the time someone was 35, they be eating real dinners nightly — like maybe I’d figure out how to shop for more than 1.34 meals at a time and make a dinner (consisting of meat, veggie, starch, and maybe a dessert) nightly. (I’d also have more than one serving bowl — no need to gift me bowls people — remember I don’t cook nightly.) Somehow, I also thought I’d be serving food family style by the time I was 35 too (thus the random bowl thoughts); but no, I dish everyone’s plate up from the stove — because why dirty another bowl just to serve pasta with butter and cheese?
By the time someone is 35, they ought to dress like a grown up. Do grown ups wear jeans and tees every single day? I look around at the mommies who drop their darling children off at school with me. I see women who are pulled together with hair done and make-up at 8am; I see 20 somethings in their PJs pants (ala my college days); and I see the late 20’s-early 30’s in their tees and jeans. I’m thinking I missed the memo that I’m supposed to be buying grown up clothing. I mean a wardrobe that isn’t remarkably dressed up with a fleece jacket. Apparently, I have clothing shopping to do.
A 35 year old would have a liquor cabinet. Ok, so this one may seem odd. But think about it, I think an adult should be able to mix some basic drinks for those fabulous people who come over from time to time. Basically, one would like to be able to say, “Can I offer you some thing to drink?” and one of the items listed not be a juice box. (Is this a growing up thing or a mommy thing?)
So in addition to a new 35 year old wardrobe, a menu plan (shopping/making/serving/cleaning…); I also will be scrubbing my house because a 35 year old probably ought to be able to have a clean house — or at least laundry done and beds made.
See I have too much to do before I turn 35. Thus for the first time in my entire life, I’ve decided that I can not deal with turning 35 — since postponing my birthday will be far easier than becoming an actual grown up — in under a week. Thus, (I’m also incapable of actually ignoring my birthday) I’m planning on not becoming 35 — I shall be 34 and 3/2. It will be stated as “Thirty-four and three halves.” Just like my five year old who wants to be six and thus counts his 5th year in months, “I’m 5 and a month. I’ll be six soon. Then I’ll be seven.” (Perhaps teaching him to count wasn’t my smartest move.)
Oh and just so I can feel even better about my new age. Duke declared that he has to be 43 to get a driver’s license, but that you can get a license at 33. So Prince asked Duke (while I was driving mind you), “so how old do you think Mommy is?” Thirty-three. With new math, I’m technically, thirty-three and four halves. I can work with this.
*in some ways — in other’s I’m about 92, give or take a decade.
September 11th, 2008 at 5:16 am
I hear ya. I turn 49 today…(I don’t even KNOW how many 33 and a halves that is!), and I still shop for 1.34 meals at a time and wear jeans and tees, although I do make real meals. I always have a bottle of champagne in the back of the fridge and the hubby’s whiskey on hand, and sometimes a bottle or two of wine – does that count as a “liquor cabinet?” And, the house WOULD be clean if I didn’t have three kids(now adults?) at home messing it up all time. That part doesn’t change.
Yeah, I’m still waiting to grow up, too. I’m much younger in my mind, but you can’t ignore them – the birthdays keep coming!
Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEEK!
September 11th, 2008 at 6:49 am
Well, I don’t have too much sympathy since I will be turning 40 in a few months.
I still wear jeans & t-shirts when I am not at work and when I worked at home, that was my uniform and makeup maybe 50% of the time.
Well, we do actually have dinner every night and with some help from mixes and other times from scratch meals. I don’t use my serving bowls unless I have a party.
Have a good birthday in a week, no matter what the number.
September 11th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Thank you so much for this post, on today, my 44th birthday.
I absolutely adore brown sugar poptarts whenever I can find them. I want the unfrosted ones and finding them is a futile mission lately, so sit back and enjoy one for me on occasion. My second favorite food when indulging my 34 10/2 year old self is spaghettios with meatballs and I have been known on occasion to toast an english muffin, add some spaghettios, and then a slice of cheese, returning it to the toaster(oven) to melt the cheese. Aging is not prerequisite to growing up.
As to the liquour cabinet, you are military, yes? The moving around you must do negates this as a grown up requirement. Liquour cannot be packed and shipped which would go long toward a drinking problem because heavens, we wouldn’t be throwing good drink down the drain now, would we?
Clothing? I keep waiting for Stacey and Clinton to show up with my Visa card. Need I say more on that?
September 11th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Serving bowls? What’s a serving bowl? Oh yeah – I own 2 of them, and they come out for popcorn and not much else. I agree with “why get more dishes dirty?” If it was good enough for me growing up, it’s good enough for my kids. If I could live in jeans and tees (or sweats and tees, really), I so would. Alas, work won’t go for it.
And there’s no liquor cabinet either – I think there’s some really old Kahlua and Brandy in the spice/tupperware cabinet left over from my baking days. And perhaps some rum in the fridge from the same time. The only good cocktail is one I don’t have to make.
I don’t want to think about 1/2 years either – suffice it to say that oldest child will be 18 next Friday. How’s that for making me look old?
September 12th, 2008 at 12:53 am
I am 49 for three more months and two days (scratch that, glancing at the clock: one day and a few minutes and did you know the clock on this blog’s comments is an hour fast? Whatcha tryin’ to do, age me?) and for the first time I am hanging on hard to the number I’ve got and not wanting the next one. Sure, sure, I’ll laugh in December and go wow, wouldja look at that, I made it to 50 after all! But today, I’m so not ready for that. So you don’t have to be ready yet either.
(Here’s a parenthesis for you: skip the liquor requirement, or this good little Mormon is hosed, willya?)
September 12th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Let’s see … I still dish up dinner from the stove, wear jeans and tees daily to w*rk, use lots of convenience foods, though I can (when necessary) mix a half-decent Screech’n'Coke. We won’t talk about the condition of the house, either, okay? So I guess even though I hit 60 earlier this week, I’m still not a grownup either. Is it time to go out and play yet?