Blogging Perfection
You know when you may have lost your mind a bit, you get upset, you move on, then realize that it is kinda funny and you want to share it on your blog, then you write it all out (honestly believing that you have taken the insanity label), and then you get a call that you hurt someone else? Oh, wait, is that just me?
Blogs are funny things. On one hand the blogs I love to read the most are witty and fun loving and well, self-deprecating. Since my own personal sense of humor is rather sarcastic and self-deprecating, I try my best to do the same. The problem is that sometimes I am not all that good at it. On the other hand, blogs are windows into our lives and perhaps pulls back the curtain on how less than perfect we all are.
I’m normally ok with people knowing how not perfect I am. I know this is utterly shocking, but I’m not perfect and I’m pretty ok with sharing my weaknesses and failings — provided two wee points: 1. I’m the one sharing; I doubt anyone appreciates being told what their shortcomings are* 2. I’m ready to laugh at myself a bit.
I write this blog for lots of reasons, only one of which is to laugh at myself a bit. I’m willing to let you laugh at me too while I’m laughing — but I find more often that I’m told “you aren’t the only one” or “that’s not so bad” — so maybe I’m more normal than I thought. The bigger reasons I write is because I love the attention — hey, I’m honest; occasionally I think I have something to say; and perhaps, just perhaps, I’ll find something meaningful in it all.
The final problem is the blogs are public. Blogs are open to people we may not want to know that we are human and have faults. Done right the blog is the window into what someone is truly thinking or feeling when the public world they’d never show it. This is truly sad since we know in our hearts that all are human, but horribly some people in this use our own faults against us (can we say grade school?). Perhaps they think that pushing others down they lift themselves up — but you know someone who is like this. They may not be the top of your party invite list, but you avoid sharing anything that would make you seem less than perfect with this person.
A great case in point is that in a former life I used to work with a woman who I nicknamed “WonderMommy.” She was that mom — her pregnancy was perfect (often speaking of the glories of a life growing inside her); her baby was perfect (smarter than average, better than others, most assuredly better than your child…whatever), and her life was perfect. Well, the thing is after talking to her twice, I began to want to chip away at her all too rosey view of mommyhood. I firmly believe that parts of being a mom suck and her “everything is perfect” attitude made me sick. It became a game and frankly the only way I could speak to her and not want to run away screaming. After some time, I was talking to another co-worker and she summed it simply, “Wow, she must be really miserable to want to make us think everything is so great.”
That stuck. It dawned on me then and I still have to remind myself, that it is because I’m not a miserable person that I can bring up the negative bits of myself. Oh, you could talk about being secure in your own skin (something I really don’t think of myself as being), but I think it is more that I don’t have to convince myself everyday that this is ok; that life is ok. I have found in the years since dealing with WM that red flags go off when I hear someone being too positive or too rosey — even when that person is me. When I’m stressed or things look gloomy, I get in that mode of reminding myself (and those unfortunately around me) how good it is.
So alas, this is a long way around saying I was ok with telling the world that I have a pet peeve or nine, this either makes be highly comfortable in my own skin or totally in denial. I’m going with the former — since if it is the latter, I’ll never admit it. Ah, finally a Win-Win.