Finding Joy in Snarkville

and sometimes that season is change.

Wow, that sentence only took me months to really be able to type fully out without stopping to over think it all.  Over thinking can be a bit of a problem for me — along with perfection, sarcasm, follow through, mailing stuff, and vacuuming — but I digress.  The reality is that I had once made a promise that I was going to blog more, return to a place where I talked about stuff again and then I kept getting caught in the what to share/what not to share/what makes me happy trap.

You see what would make me happy is share everything there is to know about what is going on in my world.  I’m the sharey sort of person. The problem is that this is sort of public and not everyone who would come here is as kind and pretty and nice and human as you.  Shockingly, there are rather nasty people in this world, so I try to do things that make sense — you know like not publishing my home address or real name (though, I know you are all shocked to know that no one calls me Queen in my real life).  Those things seem obvious.  I don’t put pictures up of Duke, more for his future privacy than much else.  But I’ve never figured out where to draw a real line beyond that.  When my life gets to the point (and you know it does), that I have to make hard decisions about it, I tend to run away from my blog and then I wonder if I’ve done the right thing.

Let’s face it, if we are being completely honest, there are thousands of blogs in this world and 99% of them aren’t worth the bandwidth they are written on.  (No, your blog is completely in the 1%, I read it all the time — who are you again?) But truthfully, I’m pretty sure that my little corner of the blogsphere (SO 2007 of me to use that word), isn’t in the 1%.  I’d love to be the person who writes so well that people follow me and move through life with me.  However, I fear that both my life just isn’t that interesting and that I’m not that good of a writer.

So, I’ve been thinking lately about changes.  Changes in my life, changes in my blog, changes in me as a person.  Those are huge thoughts, by the way, and I often have to stop and get a cookie while I move through it all.  I’ve been thinking this through in my head and it is beginning to need to bubble up and come out.  I don’t even really know where to begin — but I’m moving to a new place in my brain and beginning to wonder if I’ve outgrown Snarkville.  (No, this is not a post about how I’m leaving the blog, silly, that would seem odd wouldn’t it?)

I named this blog long ago, “Join Me in Snarkville” thinking that someone out there might want to join in with my insanity, my snark, my nasty view on life.  I’ve waned from blogging because my snark began to die, my nasty view on life began to break, and I began to see light again.  I want to do more than just complain about my life, to look into the glass darkly, to see things in terms of pure snark.  That begins to weigh a person down and makes hope and joy hard to see.  (Wow, that just got deep.)  So, with a lighter heart, I’ve decided to name my little corner to —-

Finding Joy in Snarkville

My goal is changing, as it appears all things around me are —- I no longer wish to make fun of others to make myself feel better (was once my tagline, thanks), but I want to seek the joy in my daily life.  I want to share the finding of my happy once again.  And stop it, this is no pop culture, feel good, peace, love and joy schick.  Nope, not at all.  It is an honest recognition that the days truly “In Snarkville” are behind me. The days that Frankenhouse got me down are long gone.  That I’m having a harder and harder time to find constant snark in the world around me, because of no other reason than I have a hard time finding snark within me.

So, I do hope that you find this change in season a good thing. I hope that I am still up to the task of finding the funny on occasions (I seriously am not intending on being all sappy sweet all the time — that makes me gag).  But I think there is a time for Joy here.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 18th, 2010 at 11:09 am and is filed under Mental Health. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.