Join Me in Snarkville

Yes, it is true.  I’m heading out the door to go do something I’ve never done before — stand on the street corner to meet a harlot, a self-proclaimed Yarn Harlot.

Now, I never slept on a street for concert tickets.  Nope, never.  When I was in high school, I convinced my parents to let me meet some of my friends who were allowed to sleep out for Billy Joel tickets in the morning with doughnuts.  But that’s about the closest I ever got.

But this is different.  Today, the Harlot, her name is Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, is coming for a book signing and her events have been known to draw over 300 and I’m going.  Yes, I have advanced tickets, but I want GOOD seats; I have this uncontrollable need to meet her — to talk to her — to tell her about the cruise.  My absolute shyness is coming up into the pit of my stomach, but I’m working on being bolder in my old age — and this is the THE harlot.

Now, I’m absolutely bummed that I’m missing my knit night (and I’m not sure how to make it up to Warren), but my evening shall be full of all sorts of yarny fun. Here’s the day’s line up:

• Lunch with the wonder graphic designer, Ms. Crafty.
• Hanging with my buddy in line and her two kids.
• New author, new friend, and really cool lady, Alison, will be joining us in line with her drivers.
• Then there is the Harlot event.

Prince asked me when I would be home? I answered — sometime before you wake up in the morning.  (um, I’m not sure that was the right answer.)

(Warning: This post is MOSTLY about knitting. I make this warning because a few of you, db, have mentioned that if I talk knitting you skip the post — so it has been awhile and thus the wool must be revealed again, can you deal?)

I went to Knit Night last night. Oh, how I LOVE the knit night!! First, there are the people or audience as I like to think of them. No, seriously, while I fully admit to being totally shy when meeting new people, put wool in my hands and put me amoungst the Knitters and I cannot stop with the talking. It feeds my inner extrovert so well and it is good for me. Secondly, there is the WOOL — I’m serious, I need no drugs in my life if I can just have lots and lots of FIBER — good, quality, natural fiber. (more…)

Since I’ve started writing this little blog, I’ve believed in the back of my head that what I’m really doing is proving that I’m really not all that bright. As the kid who was in the gifted programs in school, took just about every honors and AP class offered, and even made it through college without ever having a grade lower than a C (in my WHOLE life, people), it came as a shock that I’m in truth not all that bright. (more…)

Oh what a seriously wild ride of a day, the residents of Snarkville had yesterday.  If you saw it in a teen drama, you would TOTALLY think this thing “NEVER” happens.  But oh, it so did.

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Before I begin I must disgress. To my friends this part you can just skip and click on the More Tag to find out the details behind this photo.

To the Person who is reading me through Google Cache:

We are not fools and you are fooling no one. We know that the internet is a public place and have not exposed anything here that we would care if you knew. While we would love you to take the hint and stop stalking us online and in person. We don’t care if you know that we bowl or make potato chips. Our friends and family has the one thing you do not — a relationship. So, be a voyeurif you must, because stalking us isn’t all that exciting — thus you can’t possibly have anything better to do.
Moving on to things that matter.

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Ok, now that I got that whole “got to be serious and write something” bug out, I can return to my normal semi-snarky state.  Ahh, that feels better.

There’s been so many things not happening around here.  We certainly aren’t cool.  We are sweating a lot, dripping in fact.  It is not pleasant here which means as little as humanly possible is actually getting done right now.  I ran errands in the “heat” of the day — thinking I was being all smart.  But no, when the heat doesn’t break until 2am — there is no amount of shopping in AC’d stores that can help.  I have no idea what I will choose to do today between 2pm and 4pm — but it will be somewhere that is cool.  (In this one way, I do kinda miss going to an office everyday — at least if I worked in an office building the chances of it being AC’d would be pretty great.)

We are NOT getting ready for Duke’s third birthday.  This is officially the least prepared I’ve ever been for a birthday in his life.  The first year, I started planning in February.  The theme was rubber ducks (don’t ask, it is an obsession with me) and I order 98 of them to put on the cupcakes, decorate the tables, float in the punch, and put in the goodie bags.  The next year the theme was Noah’s Ark.  I had wild animal cupcakes made; bought goodie bags full of animal themed fun, I even had a craft project for the kids making Noah’s Ark themed photo frames with their names on them.  Yep, I’m *THAT* mommy and I love all of those green eyeballs looking at me.  This year I can’t get my birthday joy up.  We don’t know all that many folks here in Snarkville with kids Duke’s age.  You’d think between my mother’s club and school we would.  But Prince does the school thing and Duke’s schedule doesn’t allow him to be in any of the playgroups (any — as if there was more than 1 for his age and it meets on Tuesday’s at 10am — as if).  Add to that the descending hordes that are my family and Duke is leaving two and entering three like a lamb, no lions here.  Alas, there will be cupcakes at school and if I get off my happy ass, I will have goodie bags for his whole class.  (Perhaps it will not be flyers to the various cruises I have going on, even.)

Ok, so finally, I made a promise to a guy.  (Prince stop looking at me like that.)  Warren, the owner of Marin Fiber Arts, just got in some amazing wooden handles for handbags.  I happened to spot them as I was walking out of the store on Thursday night.  He, all casual-like says, “I don’t know how to display them.”  I said, you need a bag with them on it — I know, I’ll make one for you and bring it next Thursday.  Ok, so I’m nuts.  Now, a simple felted bag in a week is nothing really.  It isn’t until you realize that I have NO.IDEA.WHAT.IT.SHOULD.LOOK.LIKE.  Ok, I had exactly 1 yarn that is feltable that Warren carries in his shop.  So I had to use that one.  It has not told me what kind of bag it wanted to be yet.  So, I cast on and FROGGED (ripped out) the base no fewer than 9 (yes, that is NINE) times.  First, the yarn held up shockingly well to my torure (Natrawool).  But 9 times???  What was I thinking?  I’m thinking I’m a complete dork who made a promise her knitting needles couldn’t keep.  It took until late Sunday night for me to finally get the right combination of needle size, pattern, and cable length just so.  Last night I got through half the second ball (second of three) so I see the light at the end of this.  I think I’ll be able to keep my promise.  My solution you might ask?  I stopped knitting the base.  I currently have this open tube of knitting.  I’m either going to decrease to a base or sew the cast on edge together to make a base.  Opinions welcome.  (No, I don’t have a photo).

And while I’m speaking of my buddy Warren.  He is having a MASSIVE sale in his shop the last weekend in July.  It is to make room for his fall yarns, but the whole shop is 30% off, including a bunch of things at 50%.  He will ship, no he doesn’t have photos online — but I assure you if you call him he will help you.  He carries Lorna’s Laces (and I hear he’s getting a shipment of sock yarn in), GGH, Nature’s Palette, Goddess Yarns, Blue Sky, Jo Sharp, and tons more (even Cascade).  His number is 415.459.4600, call him or Maya and I so promise that you will fall in love with his shop.

Wow, I so wish I had a snappy way to say that. Perhaps it should be “Get’r done in July” or maybe hold a contest to name this little plan I have. I woke up one day this month and looked at my knitting bag, my stash, and my world and said — “it would be *SO* super nice if I could finish a few things.”

*raises right hand*

“I solemly swear that this month of July, I shall finish a project a week. I shall begin with those in progress. I shall stash dive to find the forgotten projects and finish them. I shall finish. And when I’m done, I will donate the remaining yarn to make room in the stash.” (more…)